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WolfLarsen
08-16-2011, 09:28 PM
Throw Your Sweetness into the Pan – and Cook All Your Emotions Until There’s Earthquakes Re-arranging Your Head

A poem by Wolf Larsen

The poem wants to be every sky that the human race has ever touched, the poem wants to be your ecstasy, I build and build the world all over the poem – I put history into a syringe and I inject you with history and then you thrash into the music and you swim inside of a song and you become all the sunlight and plants and animals all around you – you become atoms drifting away from each other you become millions of colliding things in this moment of sunlight and rain and tranquility and chaos fighting all over the earth – everything is this fanatical right now – and the phrase of poetry is a baseball bat bashing imagery and poetry into your head over and over again and the poem becomes all the eyes and emotions and thoughts of people throughout history spilling across every line of poetry and the poem touches the human race and smiles upon their upward struggle towards progress and greatness this poem is the human race rebuilding the cities after war this poem is the brain of the scientist bursting and colliding and erupting towards a cure for AIDS and the Poet strangles the rulers of the earth one by one and throws their corpses unto a pile of garbage and then a stream of wonder and brilliance baths the human race in its own greatness
Copyright 2006 by Wolf Larsen

Delta40
08-17-2011, 06:36 AM
I read this building up to a fantastic climax. A great stream of thought pouring off the page and I don't know whether you have a mental health condition or take drugs but I actually enjoyed this poem Wolf!

hillwalker
08-17-2011, 04:00 PM
Since most of this writer's postings date from 5 years ago one does wonder whether he is still creating new stuff or has programmed his pc to submit material to LitNet on a regular basis while he undergoes therapy.

H

Buh4Bee
08-17-2011, 09:46 PM
:p:lol::lol:

AuntShecky
08-18-2011, 05:29 PM
I don't think this one's half-bad at all.

I detect a bit of influence from the Beat Poets but I won't go as far to say that it's derivative.

I would watch out for needless repetition (one wants to keep verse as "economical" as possible, like an MLB starter's pitch count.) Also, I would purge anything that remotely resembles a cliche (my "Alt" + 130 keys don't work for the accent over the "e" anymore!)

And finally don't forget to make a proof-reading sweep in order to pick up typos such as "baths" when you mean "bathes."