The Letter

[cl154576]

(removed)

[Jack of Hearts]

A story that shows a lot of promise. Where the reader thought it was going to be about death (for some he reason he thought the protagonist had slit his wrist, but on re-reading it was the forearm) but, at the end, we see it's really about a new beginning.

It's hard to comment on short stories. They often take great effort to write and to get a poorly rendered comment on such a huge investment (or no feedback at all) can be heartbreaking.

So the only advice this reader would give is about economy. Thinning down unnecessary words would help the thing move along- at parts it was rough going because it was a bit verbose/unclear. This reader counted a few places were a good 'thinning' was certainly applicable, if you think it's the right thing to do of course.

Would gladly read your offerings again, and am curious to see where you evolve your artform.







J

[cl154576]

Thank you, Jack of Hearts. I was writing in such a distracted state I didn't realize what I was putting down ... I will definitely cut some words out.