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Delta40
08-08-2011, 05:02 PM
So the daughter struts in with 'da boyfwend', dumps her bag on the lounge room floor and says, 'Guess what just happened to Billy?'

'What?'

'Well his Mum decided she wants her own life so she kicked him out! He doesn't even have a place to live and she just told him to leave!'

Billy stands in the background, hands jammed in his jeans pockets, studying his feet moving side to side like a kid who wants to be anywhere but here.

'Did you have an argument with her or something?'

The daughter throws her impatience round the room like virtual crockery. 'Why is it that everything has to be an argument? Can't you just believe that his Mum doesn't want him there anymore?'

I puzzle over that one. Do Mums just wake up one day and think 'Gee I'd like a life of my own so I think I'll kick my unemployed son to the kerb?' Personally, I don't buy it. I get up and make us all a coffee trying to deflect what I know will inevitably arrive on my plate. While I'm pouring, she dumps it all there in one shot.

'So Billy needs to stay with us till he finds somewhere to live.' There. It's out in the universe. I knew she was going to say it, she knew I knew she was going to say it and Billy continues to shuffle his feet, saying absolutely nothing.

To be honest, I'm getting too old for these endless dramas and I mean endless. If it's not one thing, it's another. Take last week for example. She tells me she is going to court to take out a restraining order against some psycho middle aged mother of a friend of hers for threatening to come over and 'run our house through'.

'What the hell does that mean?' I demanded.

'It means she's gonna rock up here with a group of people, probably a few baseball bats and wreck the place.' I remember her chewing gum while applying make-up as she told me. Another rush of fear. Another drama. Whenever I question her too closely, she just sighs like I'm the problem rather than the trouble she brings to our home. If I had a dollar for everytime she said 'I don't want to talk about it ok?' before storming out the room, I'd be on a yacht in the Carribean!

So while I sip my coffee as thoughtfully as I can, she thinks I'm looking for solutions to poor little Billy's problems when in fact the inside of my head is screaming 'Don't lose it. Just keep calm. Kill the daughter later!' In the meantime, she tells me how exhausted her and Billy are from all the emotional upheaval they've been through today. I don't even know Billy's Mum but according to these two teenage lovebirds, there hasn't been an argument. I wonder idly if its worthwhile ringing the woman but I discard the idea as quickly as it enters my head. I know what happens if a Mother feels she's being attacked by another Mother and a stranger at that!

'We're gonna go to my room and watch TV for a while.' I let them go because I'm still trying to keep my cool and stop my thoughts on 1001 ways to kill a child. I do tell her we will need to talk about it and that I'm not happy. She retaliates in true adolescent style.

'We've all got our problems right now Mum. Don't take your stuff out on me!' So off they go to watch an entire season of Trailer Park Boys. If only they lived there I think as I light up the smoke I was never going to have. Now don't get on my back about this. I'm really trying hard but it seems to me barely a day goes by without some 'major emergency' occurring in her life and a summons for me to help. Strike that. More like rescue her. Honest to God, giving up smoking requires alot of breathing space.

I smoke, drink coffee, pour another and light the second cigarette I was never going to have. Now that I'm over my insides going berserk and accept that I can't creep into her room in the middle of the night and smother her with a pillow, I start to look at what it is I'm supposed to do about homeless Billy.

The two of them got together about a month ago. They insist their eyes met across a crowded room and that was it. So cliched but according to them, they invented love and sex so who am I to argue? I don't want the guy living here and especially not in her bed so the only option is to give him temporary shelter on a mattress on the lounge floor. I figure to help him will help me get him out ASAP. But it won't be an easy ride. He has to get online, do some street walking, get a job, do something to show his gratitude for my sanctuary. The third smoke has almost finished before I decide to let the two lovebirds know of the way things will be.

They're tucked under her quilt, arms tightly wrapped around each other. The daughter is weeping into his chest while he murmurs 'It's ok babe. It's ok.'

'What's wrong?'

She snorts into his shirt and mumbles 'nothing.'

'Don't lie to me! You've just arrived home with yet another drama and now you're bawling your eyes out. Tell me!'

She bolts upright and starts shouting. 'Well Mum, I went for a pregnancy test yesterday and it came back positive!' I'm speechless. This drama wins first prize for sure and I reckon I need to buy a pack of fifties to keep me going on this one. I do have a heart and need to keep my head screwed on instantly, even though I can feel the springs in my neck painfully uncoiling. The daughter is obviously upset about the whole thing. So am I but I'm a realist too. This is one area where a Mother should not fly off the handle. After all, she does enough for the two of us of most days.

I move toward her. She's my daughter and needs a Mummy hug, as well as a Billy hug. Seems like Billy can do more than just shuffle his feet after all. I do the 'there, there. It's ok' but she pushes me away.

'You don't understand Mum. It's not ok.' Well I know that. Jesus, she's 19 years old and living at home and now the father to be is homeless. I look for anything that I can say to calm her down but she rants on.

'The urine test was positive so she took a blood sample and I just found out by text message that I'm not pregnant after all.'

I'm doing somersaults in my head. She's crying like any well raised drama queen would.

'So what is it that you're upset about?' I ask the ticking time bomb tentatively.

'How would you like finding out you're pregnant one day, get used to the idea of having a baby and then find out you won't be a Mummy just yet?' Honestly, at my time of life, I'd be over the moon, if I didn't kill myself based on the first results but whatever I think isn't important to her so I put on my crocheted sympathy hat and 'act' as sorry as sorry as can be while cheering 'Yes!' inside (and doing a barely perceptible victory dance.)

The daughter cries on my shoulder and wipes her nose on my sleeve.

'Thanks for understanding Mum.'

'Thanks for being honest and telling me. I'll leave you guys to watch TV for a while ok? I'm just nipping down to the shops for some milk.' As I close the door, I hear her tell Billy, 'See? I told you my Mum was cool.'

I count out the dollars for a pack of fifties and tear out of the house, wondering what the next dramatic instalment will be next week.

everyadventure
08-08-2011, 05:36 PM
Dang. Hoping this one is pure fiction. It reminds me of when one of my middle-aged friends told me her 16-year-old daughter just found out she was pregnant. I gave her a sympathetic hug and told her how sorry I was and I knew this must be difficult... and she pushed me away and said she was THRILLED. Um. Okay then.

I am so scared for my children to turn into teenagers. But I don't care if I'm "cool" or not, no way is a boy or girlfriend living here!!!

Delta40
08-08-2011, 05:48 PM
You'll survive EA. Motherhood has taught me what my standards are and what I can compromise on for the greater good!

MystyrMystyry
08-08-2011, 06:46 PM
And you're looking for chemical solutions to your bipolarism? I'm thinking it isn't an 'internal' problem...

everyadventure
08-08-2011, 06:49 PM
Yeah, no wonder you're often sick... sounds like a lot to deal with! Well, your daughter is DEFINITELY lucky to have you for her "mum!"

Steven Hunley
08-08-2011, 08:03 PM
When I read a piece like this it reminds me of why I like realism. I'm so damn enthralled with it. This is life, real life and similar to how I've experienced it. I can relate to the characters and situations so easily.

You have to understand. I have problems relating to vampire and werewolves and zombies and shape-shifters and such. I dunno why, I just have a problem.

I mean, if you have a problem and you're a shape shifter, you have it made.There are so many many alternatives. But real people are so limited in their choices. This puts restraints on the writer. People expect you to be more limited but still come up with the juice.(a good story)

It may be full of juicy made-up details and it may be that you're just recording life as you experience it. Either way, you give the reader your take on reality.

Fine job. The only thing I would change or add on is this:

...think isn't important to her so I put on my crocheted sympathy hat and 'act' as sorry as sorry as can be while cheering 'Yes!' inside (and doing a barely perceptible victory dance.)

In American football when a player scores a touchdown they sometimes dance. I don't know if they do it where you live or not. Either way, you can do one for yourself.

This one is a winner.

Delta40
08-08-2011, 08:44 PM
Bipolar? lol. Actually, I have a beautiful daughter and its a pleasure watching her blossom into womanhood. Well, maybe not blossom but stumble her way through all the fog to finally arrive. I'm reaching that place where I can actually see some of the good I did while I was stumbling around!

Thanks for your comments Steve. I often combine reality with fiction and I think realism works best when written in the present tense.

hillwalker
08-09-2011, 05:36 AM
This was a marvellous read - kitchen sink drama but not too dismal to make us all feel depressed after reading.

Loved the internalised dialogue - 'Kill daughter later' - followed by a dollop of mother-luv. So true to life, and whether it's 100% autobiographical or totally imaginary is immaterial - it breathes reality.

H

DieterM
08-09-2011, 07:51 AM
Sitting in my office (post-lunch, and pre-"post-lunch"-cigarette) and looking at some entries, I couldn't help but read your first line, then the second, and before I've realized it, I had reached the end, with a smile on my face, thinking 'Now, that was a really good story'. Sorry I'm very bad at analyzing (they made me do too many text analyzing at school a quarter of a century ago, I reckon) so I just go with my feelings. And besides enjoying myself (and your story, which has been the source of that self-enjoyment) a lot, I've discovered something. Yeah, I dunno why, but I thought there was a man behind your nick. Which doesn't change anything at all. You've been a very talented guy to me before; you've just transformed into a very talented woman. Best to you.

wavydavy123
08-09-2011, 11:40 AM
This is an engrossing piece; it took me in and didn't let me go. I do not read such realistic fiction much as it reminds me of my own life and struggling existence. And, as a teenage boy I could not really relate to the mothe much. So still to keep me engrossed is a fantastic skill! Well done! Next time , throw some vampires in, just to annoy Steven ;) lol

Charlie5thumbs
08-09-2011, 05:50 PM
"I do have a heart and need to keep my head screwed on instantly, even though I can feel the springs in my neck painfully uncoiling." Being the father of a teenager myself, I can totally relate to that.

I think the only correction I might suggest is changing "...they invented love. And sex so who am I to argue?" to "...they invented love and sex so who am I to argue." Or should there be a comma after sex? Not sure.

Over all it's great writing. So are you from the UK?

Delta40
08-09-2011, 06:19 PM
Thanks so much everyone for the great feedback.


Hill - Kitchen sink dramas seem to be my forte in life
Dieter - I'm glad I made your day at work a bit brighter and you know I'm a woman!
Wavy Davy - Would it help if I made The Daughter a Goth?
Charlie - I will edit that change. I was born in England and emigrated to Australia

Out of all the short stories I have written, I have found my strength lies in writing about every day living and I'm grateful you have all expressed your appreciation for what some would consider the mundane

Jack of Hearts
08-12-2011, 03:55 PM
This ceased to be a story and became a form of birth control.

What a bizarre and horrifying journey to take. Good work, Delta40.







J

Delta40
08-12-2011, 07:29 PM
(To Latest Headline Music) And here is the leading story. A young student by the name of Billy found somewhere to live. It's close to shops and public transport and he could not be happier. Billy had to endure living miles between two nagging mothers and when asked how he felt, he replied: 'I feel like my own man now and that I can finally breathe easy.' We all wish Billy well in his endeavours as he marks this event his first success in the adult world.

Hawkman
08-12-2011, 08:10 PM
Marvellous yarn, Delta. I think what the narrator needs is a viable belief system and the support of like-minded individuals. Maybe she should check out Secular Orthodoxy - lol.

Seriously though, this is a very well structured and engrossing tale. Totally believable characters.

Live and be well - H

Delta40
08-12-2011, 08:19 PM
Thanks Hawk. I'm hoping to move into a different phase of motherhood over the next two years so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Pensive
08-13-2011, 12:53 PM
Absolutely wonderful, Delta! :)
Fiction or non-fiction, your daughter must be very lucky to have you as her mother! :)

Delta40
08-15-2011, 02:30 AM
thanks Pensive. This story was really a creative, funny way to offload when I felt it all getting on top of me!

AuntShecky
08-21-2011, 07:25 PM
What works best in this story is that the narrator talks off the cuff, so to speak, and the strong voice animates the story with energy and resonance.

Sometimes authors and poets can't shake off the self-consciousness of their perceived role--"Now I am writing a short story" or "I am writing a poem," and in so doing come off as slightly pompous, as if trying to impress. Ironically, as this story beautifully shows, the writer has to do the opposite and forget that she is "Writing."

As a result, this one's nearly flawless. I say nearly because there are a couple of teensy hiccups, such as the spelling of "Caribbean"> only one "r" and two "b's"--no matter if you pronounce it the normal way "CariBBEan" or the high-falutin' way> "CaRIBbean."

Oh, and before I forget-- please read the classic Eudora Welty story: "Why I Live at the P.O."

Delta40
08-21-2011, 08:30 PM
Oh I just spelled it that way to see if you were paying attention......!