Having a Crush on a Weeping Willow

[angliholic]

As I lay my head upon your lap,
I can see the romantic clouds dancing gracefully
high above in the light blue sky
like the swans swim in the lake nearby.

Summer breeze is blowing gently,
wafting your faint fragrance into my soul,
softly flowing your tender green hair all over my face.
I feel like I'm dreaming ... and
I'm willing to dream my life away this way.

Lying here for a thousand years and more,
letting your tender green leaves fall all over me,
cover me with layers and layers of your loving caress,
till one day, of you I'm a part.

Till death, do we never part!

[hallaig]

I love weeping willows. I have a special one near the River Nith where I sit and pretend to be a poet. In fact i wrote a wee pamphlet called Willow Pattern. What I think about this, is that you're being too arch, too self consciously 'poetic' eg


wafting your faint fragrance into my soul,
cover me with layers and layers of your loving caress,

I always think you should write essentially in the form of language that you speak. You'd never say to anyone, let alone a tree, 'till one day, of you I'm a part' would you?

What's an angliholic by the way? Someone that's addicted to English folk? Sounds a terrible condition

[Twota]

I really liked that until the last line in the third stanza hit me.

'till one day, of you I'm a part.

Till death, do we never part!'

the rhyme is apparently forced here, it may even do without the last line at all, for you said 'Lying here for a thousand years and more' and death will surely part you two before that If it would, that's just me tho..but I really like the preceding lines. :D

[hillwalker]

Hate the title - and the closing line (which is weak and unnecessary) - but the rest of the poem is another of your trademark reflections on love, the human condition and being at one with nature.

H