A Chaucerian Roundel for my late Father

[Red-Headed]

Early Wednesday, dark and cold,
Receiving the saddest call of my days
And hearing aloud that terrible phrase,


I felt no different that day to be told;
But there are laws everything obeys
Early Wednesday, dark and cold,


When I saw my Father lie pale and old
As my eyes filled with watery haze:
Because we had now parted our ways
Early Wednesday, dark and cold.

[hallaig]

Sense of phrasing being hammered into place to satisfy the difficult construct, eg eyes with watery haze, but this is nicely achieved.

[Red-Headed]

Sense of phrasing being hammered into place to satisfy the difficult construct, eg eyes with watery haze, but this is nicely achieved.

Thanks. Yeah, that's a weak line. Any less 'hammered' & it tends to lose its potency. It's not an easy form to write in. I think the original was 'Then my eyes filled with a watery haze' but I keep changing it. That line will bug me until I get it right I reckon!

[everyadventure]

I liked the line "but there are laws everything obeys." It captured the inevitability of death, but also implied that everything else will carry on in the world, despite your loss.

PS I know you love to challenge yourself with technical forms of writing, but DANG Red, I'd love to see you let loose and let it all spill out, without restricting yourself to a particular style. I'm just so curious what a purely Red poem would look like!

[Red-Headed]

I liked the line "but there are laws everything obeys." It captured the inevitability of death, but also implied that everything else will carry on in the world, despite your loss.

PS I know you love to challenge yourself with technical forms of writing, but DANG Red, I'd love to see you let loose and let it all spill out, without restricting yourself to a particular style. I'm just so curious what a purely Red poem would look like!

Yeah, I'll have to let it all explode one day. Maybe I'll go completely yampi?

Watch this space ...

[Delta40]

It is well achieved because one can sense the desperate need for some sort of construct during this time of loss

[Red-Headed]

It is well achieved because one can sense the desperate need for some sort of construct during this time of loss

Yeah, it seemed kind of apposite.

[tailor STATELY]

A difficult subject to write about; one worthy of restraint.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY