Eagle Spirit

[ShadowsCool]

Eagle Spirit

He spent his time looking back
like feathered wings that refused to fly,
An eagle perched on a landing
broken in his spirit
refused to explore the forest
that lie at his footsteps,
If he would only take off
shed his broken heart,
He could steer into earthly heaven.

[Jack of Hearts]

Shadows-


He spent his time looking back
like feathered wings that refused to fly,

This reader doesn't know what this means or how these two things relate.


An eagle perched on a landing
broken in his spirit
refused to explore the forest
that lie at his footsteps

A nondescript place, a nondescript spirit, broken for an undescribed reason, and indescribably this eagle is being associated with 'footsteps' (doesn't the image of an eagle 'walking', in your mind, look a bit silly?).

And what about his broken spirit stops him from 'exploring the forest'? Why should he want to 'explore' anyways? He's a predator. Doesn't he prefer hunting?


If he would only take off
shed his broken heart,
He could steer into earthly heaven.


This may be the only part of this poem that has a statement. His hesitance keeps him from happiness. The nature of that happiness, or that hesitance, or why he shouldn't be hesitant, is not described.

You need to slow down. This is like a quick sketch- yes, we see an eagle and a myriad of other things on very superficial level. But if you take your time and treat it more like oil painting, allowing nuance, elegance and depth... well you'd be amazed at what you could do.






J

[ShadowsCool]

JackofHearts,

I see what you mean. Thanks

Shadows

[Delta40]

His footsteps did not flow with the graceful image of a soaring eagle otherwise I liked it. I just wrote a poem about a flightless bird under the thread She's Breaking Up

[ShadowsCool]

Delta,

I will have to check that out later and comment. Thanks

Shadows