Summer

[Red-Headed]

Old Man sleeps in shade
his skin now too big for him -
dreams of summers past


his sparse uncut lawn
with patches of dirt and moss
sprouting, defiant


with long grass, windblown,
back, forth: A Mexican wave
of pointy green stalks.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

The biggest problem I have with haiku form, or any set syllabic form, is that I focus on counting the syllables on each line and not really reading the poem.

[hillwalker]

I like the image of a Mexican wave of grass.

H

[Twota]

I really like it, the second line is awesome! :D

[Red-Headed]

The biggest problem I have with haiku form, or any set syllabic form, is that I focus on counting the syllables on each line and not really reading the poem.

Yeah, I have a problem with prosody as a whole. I've been writing these haiku-type chains for a long time. It's often useful to have a form when you compose a piece.

[Red-Headed]

I really like it, the second line is awesome! :D

Thanks, I think it worked well too.

[Red-Headed]

I like the image of a Mexican wave of grass.

H

Yeah, thanks, this one fell together well I think.