Late for your Party

[hallaig]

People were Late for Your Party



A castle, the middle of November.
In the firelight and the snap of candles
you sit frowning, stoking up a temper.
“Typical” you say, “it’s all a shambles”,
and you shake your long hair and pace the floor
with your dress sweeping shadows
and when you bend over the fire once more
your face is seamed stone, it glows.
As the gale buckles windows, howls down the flue
and the rain spits on burning logs like rind,
I stand and wonder at the debt that’s due
and gracefully for all these years declined.
“This’ll be spoiled if they don’t come, Hugh”,
but nothing will be spoiled unless they do.

[PrinceMyshkin]

How wonderfully unobtrusive your end-rhymes, but I confess I can't unravel the subtlety of the final line.

[Hawkman]

Well we seem to have a run on sonnets at the moment. You seem to have wimped out on completely adhering to strict iambic pentameter throughout but it reads very nicely for all that. :D I think I like the conclusion which says so little and implies so much.

It makes me think of a situation where people met on holiday and befriended have been invited to stay, but neither you nor they really wanted to follow it up. Now the invitation has been accepted and you have to put up with it, knowing it's just going to be awful! The poem is an overture to disaster and very well realised.

Nice one, hallaig.

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

since I am blissfully ignorant to iambic pentameters I found it rather rhythmic and it rolled off my lips as easy as anything.

[everyadventure]

The tone of this is a bit mysterious. Clearly the woman is upset, and the man doesn't want the guests to come. My immediate assumption would be that he doesn't want the guests to arrive because he'd like to have the evening alone with her... but considering her mood, I don't think he'd have much luck. If that IS the assumption you'd like the reader to make, then some reference to her appeal would be helpful.

And the debt that's due... a debt to whom? Is this a debt the guests owe; perhaps invitations dodged again and again? Or a debt the man owes the woman?

For all the confusion over the nuances of the scene, there are lovely lines. "Sweeping shadows," "seamed stone," "gale buckles windows," they're all wonderful. I do so love a hallaig poem!

[Jack of Hearts]

It's quite descriptive but this reader can't establish the literal meaning it seems to demand. Most of the constituent parts are to be admired, though- and it may even be one of those 'real' poems too (in which case, consider this feedback no further).







J

[hillwalker]

For some reason I was picturing Lady Macbeth in the female role - don't ask where the idea sprang from. It's a puzzling poem and all the better for it.

Love the imagery of the rain spitting on logs 'like rind' - the 'snap of candles' - and the gale buckling the windows. Atmospheric indeed.

H

[Varenne Rodin]

since I am blissfully ignorant to iambic pentameters I found it rather rhythmic and it rolled off my lips as easy as anything.

What she said.

[Hawkman]

Iambic pentameter: a line of ten syllables containing 5 unstressed and 5 stressed. the rhythm di dah, di dah, di dah, di dah, di dah. Also known as blank verse. In english it is common to play with the order of sresses though. eg:

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd"

Hope that helps.

[Varenne Rodin]

Ah! You've explained it much better than my English teachers did. That's what I get for going to community college. If I ever write a poem, I will make use of that.