Delta40
07-30-2011, 11:29 PM
That mindless clanging in my head when my eyes fluttered open reminded me that to drink copious amounts of alcohol the night before and expect to get away with it scot free is wishful thinking. God! How many did I throw back lastnight? I rolled over wondering whether it was the bed creaking or my aching middle aged bones.
Through the fog I vaguely recalled some young leggy blonde telling me at the bar I was an embarrassment to all women. Probably the good looking ones because deep down they know one day they will look like me. If she was the one to stand on the table and sing 'We're happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be. We all enjoy our vegemite for breakfast lunch and tea' it wouldn't have been an issue but it was me and for her it made a difference.
I was so pissed I stumbled trying to lift my fat arse onto the table. I hiked up my skirt and revealed a bit more than a woman my age should. But I'm past the age of blushing. What good will it do to feel mortified the next morning? Some joker put his hands on my cheeks and said 'here you go darlin' amid hoots and bouts of laughter.
My purpose was to remind us all what it meant to be Australian. That dumb blonde seemed to think I was missing the point. 'What the f uck would you know?' I slurred. Honestly, anyone would think she had some experience in life at the grand old age of 18. Anyway, I ignored her. She wasn't important to me and I felt like the best thing she could do was get lost. But she didn't. Instead, while I gave my best rendition, she twirled the straw in her bailey's and cream, her head down the entire time.
Some blokes gave me a hand back down and called me a 'little beauty' and offered to buy me another drink. 'Don't mind if I do,' I replied, under the illusion that I was looking more attractive by the minute. It was just good fun and I wasn't looking for trouble but that girl dumped her drink on the bar and stormed to the bathroom.
To be honest, lying here at daybreak, totally dehydrated, I don't know why she annoyed me so much. I'd never seen her until I walked into Clancy's Bar. I guess the alcohol could just as quickly get me *****ing as it could make me highly entertaining so I strode off after her to confront her and ask her just what her problem was.
I'd spent a week listening to customer complaints and with a few drinks in me, I was ready to spill it all out. Some guy slapped my arse as I made my way through the crowd. I flashed a drunken 'I dare you to take me' smile and found the ladies toilet so I could settle whatever it was between us. I dunno about you but I’m full of confidence when I drink.
She was in there just staring at her reflection, tears glistening down her cheeks. That's the thing about young girls. When they cry, the layers of makeup they apply looks like crap. It's a shame really because most of them have no idea how to apply makeup to enhance their youthfulness. She looked at me and backed to the paper towel dispenser, arms crossed.
'Whaddya want?'
'Nothing. I just wonder why you're acting like you are.'
She took a towel and started dabbing the damage to her face. I would have told her that waterproof mascara is a sound investment when you're young and clubbing but she had yet to incite any sympathy in me.
'Oh it's nothing,' she replied. 'You just remind me of someone. It's my problem, not yours.'
I swooned against the vanity and waited but she wasn't forthcoming.
'Well can you leave me out of it? I don't go out much these days and I'm kinda feeling you're doing your best to ruin my night.'
I turned to leave but her sobbing pulled me back. She had really cracked up now to the point where her makeup was beyond saving. I looked into my whiskey soaked heart to find something, anything that would quell those tears dripping into the basin.
'There now. Take it easy. I'm just having some fun.' She choked back the tears and tried to laugh but her grief swamped her again. I stepped closer and waited but still she wept. Finally, I tried to lighten the situation and told her I hadn't got all day so was she gonna tell me about it or not? I didn't want to know to be honest but this young girl with her entire future ahead of her seemed to be carrying more weight than a pack mule and even pissed, I knew it would be cruel to leave her standing there.
'It's, it's my mum,' she gushed. 'I hate her. I hate her!'
'What's that got to do with me?' She looked me over and then stared once more at her wrecked appearance in the mirror.
'She used to make a fool of herself on a regular basis. You just reminded me of her, that's all'.
Gee I hate that. It's bad enough a fella saying I remind him of his mum but now I was having to deal with girls too!
I can't remember much after that but I'm pretty sure it will come to me as the day progresses.
(to be continued....)
http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h411/delta40/AussieSheila.jpg
Through the fog I vaguely recalled some young leggy blonde telling me at the bar I was an embarrassment to all women. Probably the good looking ones because deep down they know one day they will look like me. If she was the one to stand on the table and sing 'We're happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be. We all enjoy our vegemite for breakfast lunch and tea' it wouldn't have been an issue but it was me and for her it made a difference.
I was so pissed I stumbled trying to lift my fat arse onto the table. I hiked up my skirt and revealed a bit more than a woman my age should. But I'm past the age of blushing. What good will it do to feel mortified the next morning? Some joker put his hands on my cheeks and said 'here you go darlin' amid hoots and bouts of laughter.
My purpose was to remind us all what it meant to be Australian. That dumb blonde seemed to think I was missing the point. 'What the f uck would you know?' I slurred. Honestly, anyone would think she had some experience in life at the grand old age of 18. Anyway, I ignored her. She wasn't important to me and I felt like the best thing she could do was get lost. But she didn't. Instead, while I gave my best rendition, she twirled the straw in her bailey's and cream, her head down the entire time.
Some blokes gave me a hand back down and called me a 'little beauty' and offered to buy me another drink. 'Don't mind if I do,' I replied, under the illusion that I was looking more attractive by the minute. It was just good fun and I wasn't looking for trouble but that girl dumped her drink on the bar and stormed to the bathroom.
To be honest, lying here at daybreak, totally dehydrated, I don't know why she annoyed me so much. I'd never seen her until I walked into Clancy's Bar. I guess the alcohol could just as quickly get me *****ing as it could make me highly entertaining so I strode off after her to confront her and ask her just what her problem was.
I'd spent a week listening to customer complaints and with a few drinks in me, I was ready to spill it all out. Some guy slapped my arse as I made my way through the crowd. I flashed a drunken 'I dare you to take me' smile and found the ladies toilet so I could settle whatever it was between us. I dunno about you but I’m full of confidence when I drink.
She was in there just staring at her reflection, tears glistening down her cheeks. That's the thing about young girls. When they cry, the layers of makeup they apply looks like crap. It's a shame really because most of them have no idea how to apply makeup to enhance their youthfulness. She looked at me and backed to the paper towel dispenser, arms crossed.
'Whaddya want?'
'Nothing. I just wonder why you're acting like you are.'
She took a towel and started dabbing the damage to her face. I would have told her that waterproof mascara is a sound investment when you're young and clubbing but she had yet to incite any sympathy in me.
'Oh it's nothing,' she replied. 'You just remind me of someone. It's my problem, not yours.'
I swooned against the vanity and waited but she wasn't forthcoming.
'Well can you leave me out of it? I don't go out much these days and I'm kinda feeling you're doing your best to ruin my night.'
I turned to leave but her sobbing pulled me back. She had really cracked up now to the point where her makeup was beyond saving. I looked into my whiskey soaked heart to find something, anything that would quell those tears dripping into the basin.
'There now. Take it easy. I'm just having some fun.' She choked back the tears and tried to laugh but her grief swamped her again. I stepped closer and waited but still she wept. Finally, I tried to lighten the situation and told her I hadn't got all day so was she gonna tell me about it or not? I didn't want to know to be honest but this young girl with her entire future ahead of her seemed to be carrying more weight than a pack mule and even pissed, I knew it would be cruel to leave her standing there.
'It's, it's my mum,' she gushed. 'I hate her. I hate her!'
'What's that got to do with me?' She looked me over and then stared once more at her wrecked appearance in the mirror.
'She used to make a fool of herself on a regular basis. You just reminded me of her, that's all'.
Gee I hate that. It's bad enough a fella saying I remind him of his mum but now I was having to deal with girls too!
I can't remember much after that but I'm pretty sure it will come to me as the day progresses.
(to be continued....)
http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h411/delta40/AussieSheila.jpg