Red

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I've come too far
to let the stream of blood
running down my chest
bother me.
I'll let it run,
and continue living,
hoping no one notices
the red spot expanding
on the front of my shirt.
At least the shirt is black,
though it has faded
over time.

[Delta40]

I'm sure there is a deeper meaning here, especially concerning the faded black shirt. A broken heart perhaps and the prolonged recovery rate as we get older, otherwise I'm stumped.

[Jack of Hearts]

No idea what it's about. There isn't very much poetic device in it. Either this reader or this work is missing something.





J

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

No broken heart involved here. It's all quite literal, really.

[Delta40]

wow! will you be with us much longer then?

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Haha, yeah.

This (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=11322) should clarify some things.

I don't know why, but I've been hesitant to write about my disability before, and written the same anti-religion political crap that's been written thousands of times. Being disabled is a large part of what defines who I am, so I'm not going to fight writing about it anymore.

[everyadventure]

I thought it was a good poem to begin with, and even more powerful now that I understand it is, indeed, literal. This poem speaks of strength and endurance, but a note of weariness enters with the faded shirt.

You've been knocking your poems out of the park lately. BTW, I had imagined you as some 60-year-old wiseman hippie... probably a combo of your avatar, username, and the simple but profound poems you post. You know, I am ALWAYS guessing wrong about LitNetters... I think blank|verse is still a little miffed that I assumed he was a woman ;)

[Delta40]

thanks for the link. It really is a literal poem!

[Hawkman]

I too found the link enlightening. I thought it was a good poem anyway, but the black shirt reference took me off in the wrong direction. It has historical, political connotations as I'm sure you are aware. With the background in place, its simple honesty is really very moving. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Live and be well - H

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Well, thanks again, everyone. These ego boosters are definitely motivating, haha. Please, PLEASE, offer any criticism you want--I welcome it (as long as it's constructive and not mean-spirited, as some members are wont to do).

BTW, I had imagined you as some 60-year-old wiseman hippie... probably a combo of your avatar, username, and the simple but profound poems you post. You know, I am ALWAYS guessing wrong about LitNetters... I think blank|verse is still a little miffed that I assumed he was a woman ;)
:lol: And that emitocon is literal in this case--this definitely made me laugh!

[Delta40]

We're waving our pom poms for you Mutatis....

[zhannochka]

I clicked on the link and wow I had never heard of it EB before. I take my hat of to you managing you life with such a condition.
The poem has a lot more meaning now when I go back and read it. I really like the first four lines of the poem. Does the shirt being black mean anything in particular?

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Not really--it isn't like I have a "black" personality or anything. I wear, almost exclusively, black heavy-metal band shirts (:cornut:), so that's what it's referring to. The faded part is also literal, as several of my shirts (a couple Tool shirts and my Opeth one, particularly) are pretty much grey now. Still, there is symbolism there, as everydayadventure pointed out, of the fadedness showing tiredness on my part, as I do sometimes become tired of the whole thing called life, at times. Plus, the disease does get worse over time (as in the symptoms get worse).

[zhannochka]

Ah I see, very nice use then :)
and... TOOL!! \m/