The How Low Can You Go Poetry Thread

[Delta40]

This is the place to post your absolute worst efforts. Feel free to nominate a winner (or throw rotten tomatoes!)

Jo says he must go
and lapses into a coma
I can't wait for him to return
since the lawn needs mowing

[MystyrMystyry]

Flippity Flop

Floppity Flip

I wish I had a Bippity Bop

Otherwise I'll have to make do with a Boppity Bip instead

:(

[Delta40]

:puke: That's my boy! Anyone reckon they can beat that?

[Jack of Hearts]

There's a kind of mad genius running through this...







J

[Delta40]

C'mon JoH. Give it a shot...

[MystyrMystyry]

And be so kind to tell us who dyne7 is, as there appears to be no mention of them in the members list

[Jack of Hearts]

Ms. 40, this poster doesn't do anything but this.






J

[MystyrMystyry]

Just found dyne7!

Any clue what happened to him?

North Carolina, joined December 2010, submitted some poems, vanished

[Delta40]

It's all downhill from here
as another one bites the dust
I hear you already
so kiss my cliche

[YesNo]

For nominations, I think Delta40's first contribution would be my first choice so far although I like MysterMystyry's nonsense verse as well.

Here's something to add to this:



There was a little birdie
Who dropped a little turd. He
Heard clearly every word he
Was not allowed to say.

And so he dropped another,
On sister and on brother,
On daddy and on mother.
He got us good that day.

[Jack of Hearts]

You Say Yes, I Say No, You Say Stop But I Say Go Go Go (AKA YesNo)-

this reader was delighted to find that throw-away gem in his inbox this morning. Smirkworthy.





J

[Twota]

If it's about the worst, I can easily win.
check this:

Few pictures of her he had,
at them he loved to stare,
he wasn't a pervert, but sad
he was too much into her,
he barely used to see her, bad
cuz she was his sun, but even more fair.

BEAT THAT! ;D

[Delta40]

These are really bad! lol. Joh Good to see that even the Beatles can churn out crap!

[Delta40]

silverside oh silverside
thou shalt be tasty
on my bread
With mustard and pickle
dearest silverside
we shall conquer the world

[Twota]

How does it feel
when you're all alone ,
Your brain is paralysed
by a silent tone ,
Your eyes wide open
but you can't see ,
You're holding your breath
you can't break free ,
Your world is spinning
but your body is still ,
You try to sleep
but the thoughts make you chill..

[Delta40]

How does it feel
when you're all alone ,
Your brain is paralysed
by a silent tone ,
Your eyes wide open
but you can't see ,
You're holding your breath
you can't break free ,
Your world is spinning
but your body is still ,
You try to sleep
but the thoughts make you chill..

HONK! Sorry but that poem is quite good...

[Twota]

awww, I don't know if that's good or bad but thank you LOL, ahem sorry for posting it here then. lolololol :D

[Delta40]

lol. Don't do it again!

[Delta40]

Ms. 40, this poster doesn't do anything but this.






J

Don't you make me insult a Bob Dylan lookalike!

[Twota]

I 'll make it up for you, with this poem:

Everynight, thinking of my cutie,
her brightness and her beauty,
she in my heart is always kept,
thinking about her I never slept,
when I do, about her I dream,
and oh so real, the dream does seem.

Note: those actually are parts from poems I wrote two years ago, when rhyme was everything to me. :D

[Delta40]

ok that's pretty bad and isn't it reassuring to know how far you've come?

[Twota]

LOLOLOL! YES! I feel much better now. :D

[Delta40]

That's why this thread is such a good idea!

[MystyrMystyry]

Six pink bottoms parked nudily on a bench
When one on the end lets off quite a stench
The noise is equally just as frightening
And then ten of twelve arse cheeks tightening
As they try to wobble away
First one falls off, I'm sorry to say
Followed by the others til all have taken a dip
The uneven weight distribution means the bench does a flip
On the smelly who'd been left all alone
Six pink bottoms flooping on the ground as one
All a little more redder then when they had begun

[Twota]

:iagree: Awesome Delta! I will fill this thread with my worst poems. :D

[Delta40]

LMAO! I nominate Mystyr for first prize today!

[Twota]

Both my best and my worst poetry loses, Fail! :D

[Delta40]

Both my best and my worst poetry loses, Fail! :D

don't fret. this thread can go on and on and on....

I had little usb drive
but I lost it in the countryside
When I looked for my disk
I said what is this?
and got lost on a merry go ride

[Twota]

I was walking during my leisure
when I heard a loud squeak,
I looked up and couldn't speak,
a bird flied, squeaked in pleasure
and a poo fell right into my eye. :D

[Delta40]

now you're talking!

[MystyrMystyry]

I like to bite the heads off flies
And suck out their slimy green insides
Get enough and it's quite a feast
Sort of like pea and ham soup, at least
I'd prefer that it were but it's actually terrible
All cold and insecty, and the maggots unbearable

[Twota]

okai, I think you win with that one, LOL!

[Delta40]

yeah. He'll make a wonderful Grandpa one day...

[Buh4Bee]

You guys are so hilarious!! I laughed my whole way through this thread. Just what LitNet needs, some awesome humor and bad poetry.

[Delta40]

You guys are so hilarious!! I laughed my whole way through this thread. Just what LitNet needs, some awesome humor and bad poetry.

You're welcome to post your worst too Jersea

[MystyrMystyry]

Violets are grey roses are green
Some things are completely obscene
She was covered in warts
And moles, and boils of sorts
So large they seemed to have a life of their own
One in particular was as big as a big stone
You could argue they possessed personality
But they formed a union and demanded equality
This was more suffering than a little elf ought
She was more than just their life support
And switched it off did our little elf
When she decided to top herself
But alas! the boils did prise themselves loose
And ran around in circles before cornering a moose
Because even cysts need some nutrition
And now their plan had come to fruition
There are tales from near and some from afar
About a gang of sebacious types carjacking a car
They're coming to neighborhood near you
So watch out for them if it's the last thing you do

[Delta40]

I'm sure you look something like this:

http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h411/delta40/imagesCAMWOKNR.jpg

[MystyrMystyry]

Nopers. More like this:

http://i1134.photobucket.com/albums/m605/mystyrmystyry/winter_milky_way_5.jpg

:)

[Delta40]

You're right. That pic is of me in my eighties hey day

[MystyrMystyry]

You mean that's a real person!? Geez!

[Delta40]

Whoa there galactic space thing. You're hurting my feelings! :angelsad2:

[MystyrMystyry]

Galactic space thing? That's a new one. I thought you were a pastafarian...

[Delta40]

look at the pics of my family and be warned! lol

http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&gbv=2&tbm=isch&q=aussie+bogan+mullet&revid=939022117&sa=X&ei=sL00Tp7rLqbFmAWk7OSRCw&ved=0CDkQ1QIoAA&biw=1680&bih=727

[MystyrMystyry]

Yikes!

[Junglord]

Haha some of these are great. I'll try.

When I go to the butchers for some meat,
I then pop to the cakeshop for a treat,
New faces rush by I will never meet,
And then I get home to rest my poor feet.

[zhannochka]

Hah good thread! I used to make up silly poems and pretend to be a modern day "rapper". I'll try one now...


My cute cat
Sitting on his mat
Is so fat
What's that?
He wants a pat,

He comes to me,
So gleefully,
Sweet baby,
Sits upon ye,
Oh, he peed.

[Delta40]

lol. That's rotten (even if I imagine the rap music!)

[zhannochka]

Thanks... I think :p

[Delta40]

I thought I'd give you a call
but I lost the area code to hell
so the next time I think of you
I won't be able to give you a bell

[Twota]

Everyday, I wake up wondering
why should I be wandering wondering
in this wonderful wonder world.

oh, say it fast 3 times straight. :D

[Junglord]

Everyday, I wake up wondering
why should I be wandering wondering
in this wonderful wonder world.

oh, say it fast 3 times straight. :D

Epic. I tried but after saying it one and half times my lips literally ceased to move. I was wondering whether wandering wondering in the wonderful wonder world would be a wonderful wonder at all.

[Twota]

Hahaha :D I rock. :D

[Delta40]

you rock
you swing
while I don't do anything

[Twota]

I rock I swing
I compose I sing
I buzz I sting.

[Jack of Hearts]

Love in the Nighttime Meadow


A full moon shone across the meadow. Two lovers ran to embrace each other amid the flowers.

“Bla bla bla bla,” she wept into his large masculine arms.

“Blah,” he said while kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

"Bla!" she said while turning away in anger.

"Blah," he said while gently reaching for her arm through the night, to stop her going.

“Bla bla!” she said, her blues looking up into his chiseled features, stoic and distant like mountains so far away.

He gave one quick nod of affirmation. “Blah,” he said tenderly.

“Bla bla bla?” her voice grew more excited now and she clutched his chest in suspense.

His eyes searched left; they searched to-and-fro. At last he conceded:

“Blah.”

[hillwalker]

One for the 60's generation :

Crosby, Stills and Nash,
two beards and one moustache

H

[Delta40]

Love in the Nighttime Meadow


A full moon shone across the meadow. Two lovers ran to embrace each other amid the flowers.

“Bla bla bla bla,” she wept into his large masculine arms.

“Blah,” he said while kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

"Bla!" she said while turning away in anger.

"Blah," he said while gently reaching for her arm through the night, to stop her going.

“Bla bla!” she said, her blues looking up into his chiseled features, stoic and distant like mountains so far away.

He gave one quick nod of affirmation. “Blah,” he said tenderly.

“Bla bla bla?” her voice grew more excited now and she clutched his chest in suspense.

His eyes searched left; they searched to-and-fro. At last he conceded:

“Blah.”

This deserves a prize

[Twota]

BLAH! (as in YES!)

[MystyrMystyry]

Channels 2//Channel 7//Channel 9//Channel 10//Channel 0//Public

6:00 News//Local News//National News//News//I'national news//Community News

[Twota]

I know she likes me
she knows I know she likes me
I know she knows I know she likes me
and I like her back
but she doesn't know that I like her back
I know she doesn't know that I like her back
She knows I know she doesn't know that I like her back
May be I should tell her that I like her back
so she would know that I like her back
and then I would know she knows I like her back.

[MystyrMystyry]

One for the 60's generation :

Crosby, Stills and Nash,
two beards and one moustache

H

Not bad for bad

[YesNo]

I know she likes me
she knows I know she likes me
I know she knows I know she likes me
and I like her back
but she doesn't know that I like her back
I know she doesn't know that I like her back
She knows I know she doesn't know that I like her back
May be I should tell her that I like her back
so she would know that I like her back
and then I would know she knows I like her back.
:) Nothing like relationships to generate poetry, good or bad.




Making Plans for the Eve of Valentine's Day

Sally had one main man. Now, there's two.
Which is better, the old or the new?
Since they both like to fight
Come this Saturday night
She will find out which loser is through.

[firefangled]

In the garbage, I looked
for your number, I feared
the ants smelled leaving
and chewed it, carried it
off to the underground
in pieces to piece it back
together like grandfather
with his jig-saw puzzles.
Expect a call, not from me—
I'll get over you someday.

[Jack of Hearts]

Here's a story so genuinely true
you'll feel like you already knew:
I've an appendage so grand
it's quite out of hand
so I keep it tucked down in my shoe.

[YesNo]

It makes me happy knowing hell
Is where you'll get to go,
But heaven is the place for me
Though bored for all eternity.
I'll long to see you so.

[Delta40]

It makes me happy knowing hell
Is where you'll get to go,
But heaven is the place for me
Though bored for all eternity.
I'll long to see you so.

nothing like truth in bad poetry! :lol:

[Delta40]

I'm busting to go
while I have a smoke
while I cross my legs
I cough and choke

[MystyrMystyry]

no ifs, buts, whens or ands
he said while looking at his hands
where they lay upon the ground
at first he lost them, now they're found