A Dream

[Clay MacDonnell]

I had a dream last night, more real, more prefferable,
to a thousand waking days.

The muslims say of paradise that there are women
wide and beautiful with eyes like pearls and skin
that glistens like diamonds.

Yet more beautiful was she...

For her imperfections resonate her perfections,
and to be imperfect is human,
and to be human is beautiful.

We lay under trees, watching stars through leaves,
Our hearts content, our minds at ease.

Waking in a blissful stupor reaching for my dream-time
lover I was baptised in humilation and sorrow.

Just a dream...

[Delta40]

I think you should delete the first two lines so the reader discovers it was just a dream at the end.

[Jack of Hearts]

D40 gave good advice, this reader thinks. He also thinks you moved way too fast through the imagery and didn't allow us to savor.






J

[Clay MacDonnell]

Cheers for the advice

[Buh4Bee]

What kind of woman inspired this dream? I had a dream like that last night and there was no woman, I can guarantee you that. But I did wake up next to my husband and I was like, what the Hell?? Just kidding...

[Varenne Rodin]

I didn't see why this needed Muslims or any invocation of a specific religion's idea of what happens in their paradise. That's a little esoteric, if you're wanting others to share in the experience of this poem with you. Overall, this is the best poem you have posted. Keep at it.