What To Do?

[Jakle James]

Love I feel but cannot express, Conflict fills my mind.
Speaking out loud the thoughts I have has not been a skill of mine.
Finding out I have no chance is something I'd rather miss.
Although if I never make a move. I never obtain a Kiss.

[Jakle James]

I find my self torn
Wondering if I should tell her
Or if I should leave it lay.
It is true what they say,
Love unspoken leaves a heavy heart?
But would the rejection be worth it?
Would I be turned away like in the past
Or would I be embraced?
I guess thats why it's called "Falling" in love.

[Jakle James]

Your constant ramblings eat at my ears.
Driving me to insanity as i listen to the meaningless
talk about egotistic tragedies that are by your own hands created.
As if I care about your life and how you destroy it.

[Jakle James]

These are a few of my Poems, Let me know what you think. Any criticism is consecutive.

[inbetween]

depressing topics... would be easier to read if they got some more melody to it.. but go on with those topics.. we need people to live the pain for us.. or at least write about it

[hillwalker]

'What to Do' is probably the most poetic of the 3. The 2nd is just prose laid out in the shape of a poem, although I do like the play on the word 'fall' - and the 3rd suffers in the same way. It's prose not poetry.

But the 1st has promise - although your decision to employ rhyme has backfired with the last two lines. And I think line 2 is a little awkward because of 'have' and 'has' being next to each other. I had to read it 3 times for it to make sense.

My advice - keep writing, but also READ some of the other stuff on this site to get a feel for how poetry differs from prose.

H

[Jakle James]

Cool thank for the input so far. I will definitely work on it.