Oh Bother! Oh Gosh!

[MystyrMystyry]

Oh Bother! Oh Gosh!

What's up?

Pain!

Pain? What sort of pain?

The sharp pulsating type you get
When you break your big toe!

Where abouts?

At the end of my foot!

Your ankle?

No!

Heel?

What?

Where does it hurt?

In my big toe!

Why didn't you just say that in the first place?

Because I was too busy writhing around in agony!

What did you do?

I broke it!

What - just then?

Of course just then! When else!

Maybe you should have worn shoes?

You don't say?

So why didn't you?

Because it was such a nice day I took them off!

So you're blaming it on the weather now?

No - I'm blaming it on the newspaper
Of which I tripped over...

The newspaper certainly has a lot to answer for...

It was the unexpected change in texture from carpet
To paper - I wasn't expecting the slipperiness and-

And so you broke your toe? That doesn't follow,,,

No, I was pre-occupied, and the sudden unexpected
Looseness beneath my feet startled me off-balance

Oh. But I don't get how your big toe fits into this...

Well I fell onto my knees trying not to drop
And smash the plate, and spill my lunch...

Your knees? Ouch!

Yeah, anyway, but then a reflex mechanism kicked in
And I involuntarily kicked the floor - hard!

Thus breaking you shoeless big toe..? I see...

The shoeless part isn't really important

You don't think?

Well - you know, I guess I could just blame the weather...

That's what I said

Yeah, but such a nice sunny day - how can I?

So - easier to blame the newspaper?

Precisely!

Interesting... Though why did you only break one big toe?

Because I-... I can't say - I think I - maybe
It's just made of tougher stuff...

Weird

Yeah, but I can't complain - I mean it could've been-...

A lot worse? How?

I could've broken both my big toes...

Oh bother! Oh Gosh!

[Hawkman]

MM I have a weary feeling that you are going to interpret this as a personal attack on your writing. It isn't. You write well, entertainingly and with much humour. I like your writing. But really, this isn't a poem. It's a script. It's a very amusing script for a comedy sketch. You have a talent for scriptwriting but this is a poetry forum. The links below may help you to determine the difference.

With respect for your talents - H

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/poetry

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poetry

http://www.how-to-write-better.com/articles/poetry/how-to-write-poetry/

http://www.how-to-write-better.com/articles/writing-fiction/tips-for-writing-dialogue/

[MystyrMystyry]

Hawk, with respect, poetry isn't this 'one thing' that you seem to have decided it to be

It is not necessarily a single voice. It is not necessarily about the wind blowing through the leaves. Nor is it about what anyone's interpretation of it is.

Did Shakespeare write plays or poetry?

Got you there! :) Though I am of course not contrasting myself with the Bard - I am my own Bard, as we all are


If there were a thread for experimental poetry and another for traditional poetry, then would that make you happy? Or confused?

I know perfectly well what other people's pomes are, but my pomes aren't other people's pomes - they're my pomes - sometimes odes, sometimes elegies, sometimes ballads, and sometimes emplogues (mock Platonic Dialogues!)

There are other forms I've fiddled with, but to describe any or all with a traditional expression - well, why do some folks need categories? I don't approach a pome with 'I'll read this later because I'm more in the mood for a Pastoral Piece by Someone Else...'

If you want to read a dialogue by someone like say Gerard Manley Hopkins there's an excellent one at the end of, well, Gerard Manley Hopkins' Collected Pomes about the Philosophy of Beauty, which is well worth a read if you need to acquaint yourself with the style (even if you don't)

Good luck with it :)

[Hawkman]

Hawk, with respect, poetry isn't this 'one thing' that you seem to have decided it to be

It is not necessarily a single voice. It is not necessarily about the wind blowing through the leaves. Nor is it about what anyone's interpretation of it is.

I haven't decided that poetry is any one thing... I agree that poetry can take many forms, including dialogue and the dialectic. I have used the device myself. However, there are certain elements which must be present for the lines to qualify as poetry.



Did Shakespeare write plays or poetry?

Got you there! :) Though I am of course not contrasting myself with the Bard - I am my own Bard, as we all are

Shakespeare, of course, wrote both. His lines of dialogue contain elements of metre, rhyme and assonance with have been poetical devices since classical antiquity.




If there were a thread for experimental poetry and another for traditional poetry, then would that make you happy? Or confused?

I would be neither confused nor happy, merely accepting. But you should remember that not all experiments will be successful, whether they are in poetry, science or any other art.

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

I was highly entertained. This was pure dialogue and it lacks a poetic theme of any kind. I'll still read your stuff though....

[MystyrMystyry]

There's plenty of thematic poetry in it Delta, just not in a traditional way. It was written (in a rather controlled manner I thought) after I'd broken my toe, whilst waiting patiently for the taxi to arrive to ferry me of to the G.P. for a splint.

It incorporates such topicalities as newspapers, human frailty, sunlight - and reaches into the tactile texture of textiles, and the philosophy of pain

So there!

[Delta40]

You're right. I have yet to acquire a taste for the bleeding obvious....

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou both very much for your sympathies regarding my recent life-threatening injury

[hillwalker]

I have to side with Hawk - you write a great deal of very amusing stuff - much of it off the wall which is never a bad thing - but most of it AIN'T POETRY however you try to dress it up.

H

[everyadventure]

MM, if you would be so kind as to give me your address, I will express mail a vat of homemade chicken noodle soup and some soothing lavender tea. I am highly concerned about your life-threatening injury and insist that you remain on the couch for at least a week. I will also send a hand-sewn velvet pillow for you to rest your injured digits upon.

:D

[Delta40]

lol. Good on you EA. I'm blowing your big toe a kiss from Oz (Mwah!)

[MystyrMystyry]

Hillwalker,

Here's a knocking indeed! If a man were
porter of Hell Gate, he should have old turning the
key. (Knock.) Knock, knock, knock! Who's there,
i' the name of Beelzebub? Here's a farmer, that hang'd
himself on th' expectation of plenty. Come in time!
Have napkins enow about you; here you'll sweat for't.
(Knock.) Knock, knock! Who's there, in the other
devil's name? Faith, here's an equivocator, that could
swear in both the scales against either scale, who
committed treason enough for God's sake, yet could
not equivocate to heaven. O, come in, equivocator.
(Knock.) Knock, knock, knock! Who's there? Faith,
here's an English tailor come hither, for stealing
out of a French hose: come in, tailor; here you may
roast your goose. (Knock.) Knock, knock! Never
at quiet! What are you? But this place is too
cold for hell. I'll devil-porter it no further: I had
thought to have let in some of all professions that go
the primrose way to the everlasting bonfire. (Knock.)
Anon, anon! [Opens the gate.] I pray you, remember
the porter

[MystyrMystyry]

every,

Thankyou - it's Seventh Cave From The Left, Under the Trees

My tummy and digits await in eager anticip
































ation

[MystyrMystyry]

Delta,

That sounds a little Sarah Fergussonesque to me...


Bring it on!