Mothers' Perspective

[Twota]

In a sense
of responsibility,
you suppress
my freedom,
in the shadow
of protection,
you oft kill
the fun,
under the mask
of love,
you constantly
punish me.

I succumb to
your unjust will,
but you call me
ungrateful
and insolent,
for I don't smile
to your frowny
shouting face.

You ask me why-
why do I hate you?
well, mother..
I really don't
or may be can't,
but I ask myself,
why can't I?

[ShadowsCool]

Twoto:

It would be better if perhaps seperated by stanza. I had a tough time following it with the comma's and such.

However, I did like the part about the "to your frowny shouting face".
Got a decent image of that lol.

Not one of your best, but certainly interesting all the same.:)

Shadows

[Twota]

Shadows, you're right :D, I separated them, hope it reads easier now :D

and well, I wrote that now after my mum kept shouting at me for being ungrateful. :D

Thanks. ;)

[Delta40]

This is one of your best Twota! Nicely presented.

[everyadventure]

There's a fine line between protecting and smothering, guiding and forcing... I feel for both characters in this poem.

[Hawkman]

Apart from the short lines which prevent the poem from flowing properly I think this works well.

H

[Twota]

Thanks alot Delta. :D

EA, I wish my mum knew that, cuz she smothers and forces me, glad you are related. :D

Hawk, thanks lots. :D