Roses

[Twota]

In a central park,
I live with my friends,
we dance with the breeze,
delight the beholder
with our natural perfume,
the eyes can't resist
gazing at our beauty,
so we are oft blushing.
Now, I am watching
the last two visitors
kissing, holding hands
and making promises,
the guy walks towards me,
I say goodbye to my friends
for now it's my time
to leave and be relived,
as a symbol of love,
but his careful hands
picks a close friend,
he smells her newly
sacrificed flesh, and offers her
to his own loving rose.
I cry for her death
and my droughty luck,
I will have to wait
for another budding love,
to seal it's sacred promise.

[hillwalker]

I like this vision of a rose waiting to be plucked.

It gets a little prosey in parts but overall is well-written.

h

[Delta40]

I agree with Hill but it is a nice perspective

[Twota]

I know it's little prosey in some parts but, Yay! Glad you both like it. :D

[Bar22do]

I like it too, the idea and the verse even though it might need some polishing. Well done!

[Twota]

Thanks Bar :D
Glad you like it, and I 'll try to polish it. :D

[ShadowsCool]

Prosey like Hill says but I write prosey too. It has some interesting images.
I like it. Nice job.

Shadows

[Red-Headed]

I like it, it feels fast paced & jaunty, great imagery.

[Twota]

Thanks Shadows and Red. :D
Glad you like it. x]]

[Varenne Rodin]

I liked it, but there are some basic grammar issues. Easy fixes, I think. I always love poems and stories told from the perspective of non-human nouns. Keep at it.

[Twota]

Varenne, thanks alot. :D
Glad you like it. :)