A question on respecting one another

[Cunninglinguist]

This question popped up in a recent thread and although it was considered irrelevant to the thread and ultimately removed, I believe it’s a rather important question that’s not asked enough:


In disagreement, we can be civilized rather than savage, can't we?

Perhaps this question can be reformulated as: why are people so disposed to insult each other?

I believe it comes down to what we're committed to. If we're committed to our ego and our pride, we become inclined to humiliate and disrespect one another. If we're committed to finding the truth, then being refuted, disproven, and even disrespected won't bother us as much. I believe that when we’re committed to the latter, we leave ourselves in dialogue rather than in monologue; we lead ourselves to understanding rather than to hatred; to integration rather than annihilation.

Unfortunately, it seems that many people are committed in large part to their ego, and to some extent I don't believe that they can be blamed. It almost seems like a prerequisite for success here in America.

Any thoughts?

[G L Wilson]

This question popped up in a recent thread and although it was considered irrelevant to the thread and ultimately removed, I believe it’s a rather important question that’s not asked enough:



Perhaps this question can be reformulated as: why are people so disposed to insult each other?

I believe it comes down to what we're committed to. If we're committed to our ego and our pride, we become inclined to humiliate and disrespect one another. If we're committed to finding the truth, then being refuted, disproven, and even disrespected won't bother us as much. I believe that when we’re committed to the latter, we leave ourselves in dialogue rather than in monologue; we lead ourselves to understanding rather than to hatred; to integration rather than annihilation.

Unfortunately, it seems that many people are committed in large part to their ego, and to some extent I don't believe that they can be blamed. It almost seems like a prerequisite for success here in America.

Any thoughts?

I think that you are absolutely right. But sometimes in the search for truth one must cross boundaries, i.e., you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

[YesNo]

Perhaps this question can be reformulated as: why are people so disposed to insult each other?

...

Any thoughts?

There is little anyone can do about other people, so pragmatically I think the question can be better formulated as: why are people so disposed to feel insulted?

If we don't feel insulted we will not be making insults in return. The solution to the problem is now in our own hands. It doesn't matter how insulting someone might be to us nor how often.

Besides, why should anyone feel insulted by what someone else posts on a forum? Who really cares? Just ignore it. And if we can't ignore it, that is a sign that there is an ego involved that needs to be disciplined. I can't think of any better discipline than to listen to someone say something one doesn't agree with without anger.

[Varenne Rodin]

I think Americans are generally overly sensitive. Maturity tends to lead a person to feel less insulted, even when being insulted. I've been told that in Britain, everyone "roasts" everyone else all the time. Ricky Gervais is tame there, for example. People need to avoid investing emotional stock in debate, especially with strangers. The only people who are capable of offending me are those I deeply love.

[Cunninglinguist]

I think that you are absolutely right. But sometimes in the search for truth one must cross boundaries, i.e., you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

The Theory of Positive Disintegration (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration), which I (mostly) subscribe to, says that tension and anxiety are necessary for personality development. But like most things in life, there’s probably a golden mean that should be aimed for. Too much anxiety is destructive.


There is little anyone can do about other people, so pragmatically I think the question can be better formulated as: why are people so disposed to feel insulted?

If we don't feel insulted we will not be making insults in return. The solution to the problem is now in our own hands. It doesn't matter how insulting someone might be to us nor how often.

I’m a bit ambivalent here. On the one hand, we’re (pre)disposed to caring about others’ perceptions of us, even if they are complete strangers. After all, we’re all human, tied to each other by common sympathies. I don’t want to just hop on the bandwagon here, that when it comes to others’ perception of oneself, complete indifference is maturity, and psychological repression is the only practical solution to emotional trepidation. I’m not sure how healthy being false with ourselves is, nor how happy it ultimately makes us.

On the other hand, trying to manage others’ behavior, opinions, and such isn’t usually the best policy, and denial of the aforesaid natural propensities usually prevails. But while this asceticism is certainly an option, I’m not persuaded it’s the best one. Certainly it gets the job done, but I think it’s acceptable to feel offended or insulted. Such feelings are ultimately how we form any judgment of each other in the first place, we can only fall into friendship when we appreciate the feelings of others, and usually when we bottle ours up they end up sticking their ugly heads out elsewhere in our lives. Of course, to some extent we do need to regulate our emotions – but how and to what extent is open to debate.

In short, I don’t think the solution is to stop feeling insulted, or in other words to stop the inward response, but to control the outward response--that is at least my conception of emotional maturity. To sum up then, I don’t think we should stop feeling offense, but should ask ourselves what (other than the inward response) instigates or permits that outward response, which brings us around to that former question: why are people disposed to insult each other?


I think Americans are generally overly sensitive. Maturity tends to lead a person to feel less insulted, even when being insulted. I've been told that in Britain, everyone "roasts" everyone else all the time. Ricky Gervais is tame there, for example. People need to avoid investing emotional stock in debate, especially with strangers. The only people who are capable of offending me are those I deeply love.

I had a teacher who said the same thing about Britain, but instead believed the British under-sensitive. I have never visited, so I can’t really form much of an opinion.

[G L Wilson]

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a lament: live for today.

[Red-Headed]

I've been told that in Britain, everyone "roasts" everyone else all the time.

Ah! So that's why the French call us La Roast Beefs!


Ricky Gervais is tame there, for example.

If you think Gervais isn't tame for god's sake don't watch any Chubby Brown!

[Delta40]

There is little anyone can do about other people, so pragmatically I think the question can be better formulated as: why are people so disposed to feel insulted?

If we don't feel insulted we will not be making insults in return. The solution to the problem is now in our own hands. It doesn't matter how insulting someone might be to us nor how often.

Besides, why should anyone feel insulted by what someone else posts on a forum? Who really cares? Just ignore it. And if we can't ignore it, that is a sign that there is an ego involved that needs to be disciplined. I can't think of any better discipline than to listen to someone say something one doesn't agree with without anger.

Here Here or is it Hear Hear?

[Red-Headed]

I had a teacher who said the same thing about Britain, but instead believed the British under-sensitive. I have never visited, so I can’t really form much of an opinion.

Oh how we love to be racially & culturally stereotyped. :banghead:

[Red-Headed]

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a lament: live for today.

Carpe diem. (Carp of the day)

[Delta40]

I'm English Australian and even I want to tell the poms to go back home. They make awful tourists. All they do is complain about the weather and the food and the pubs and the etc etc....

[Red-Headed]

I'm English Australian and even I want to tell the poms to go back home. They make awful tourists. All they do is complain about the weather and the food and the pubs and the etc etc....

Cor blimey gavnor, you make me want to throw me jellied eels at yer! Is your bowler 'at too tight me old china?

Would you Adam 'n' Eve it ... up the elephant & raaand the carstle ...

[Delta40]

Cockney slang, fair dinkum?

[G L Wilson]

Everybody knows that we Aussies can stand the Poms to some extent, it's the Yanks that we can't stand to any extent.

[Red-Headed]

Cockney slang, fair dinkum?

The term Cockney supposedly derives from '****'s egg', & as cocks don't lay eggs, but hens do, the word was originally an old English expression of anything strange or odd. Apparently country dwellers applied this to city folk, especially Londoners & the term stuck.

Don't get me started on Black Country slang ... Ar bay arf-soaked or yampi in the yed, so doe git maye started on yower accent!

I day say it wore bostin, in fact, I day spake.

Sod me! It seems I can't write the word C o c k on this board, as it breaks the Amerika-Politzei Forum software. Land of the free my arse!

[Delta40]

Fair dinkum derives from the Asian community during the gold rush years. After cashing in their gold dust, men were inclined to drink and gamble away their wealth. It was agreed that it was unfair to entice a drunk man into a round of poker. The Asians called it fair drinking but of course it evolved into fair dinkum, meaning to be true.

[Red-Headed]

Everybody knows that we Aussies can stand the Poms to some extent, it's the Yanks that we can't stand to any extent.

Yeah, try writing the perfectly harmless proper noun **** on this puritanical forum!

[Delta40]

Omg! GL Wilson is Australian? Please, everybody, don't judge an entire country on one man's statements.....

[G L Wilson]

Yeah, try writing the perfectly harmless proper noun **** on this puritanical forum!

Try writing *** as in donkey on this forum.

[Delta40]

Yes but arse isn't a problem

[G L Wilson]

***** is a problem but biatch is not.

[Delta40]

neither is an AC/DC bogon

[G L Wilson]

Bogan wouldn't register with the American elite.

[Red-Headed]

Try writing *** as in donkey on this forum.

Land of the free eh? Can you write wanker, tosser, pillock or knobend?

[G L Wilson]

Nigger is perfectly acceptable, funnily enough.

[Delta40]

That's true! Neither would mole....

[Delta40]

Nigger is perfectly acceptable, funnily enough.

so does coon

[Red-Headed]

Bogan wouldn't register with the American elite.

Neither do chavs apparently.

[G L Wilson]

Slut, bugger, bum, poo.

[Delta40]

LMAO! crap! my tits are hurting from laughing

[Red-Headed]

Nigger is perfectly acceptable, funnily enough.

I tried writing the Welsh word Cwm (Valley) once on an Amerikan site like this one & it blocked it. Let's see if it does on this.

[Delta40]

do you mean quim?

[Red-Headed]

Arse-biscuits!

[G L Wilson]

****.

****'s out.
Crap's in.

[Red-Headed]

do you mean quim?

No, valley, but I think that there is a cognate similarity! Chaucer would have probably got away with Queynte! LOL

[Delta40]

but not fucckke

[G L Wilson]

****.

****'s in.

**** was in.

Flaps, fanny, twat.

[Delta40]

ranga is a goer

[G L Wilson]

****e is a...no go.

[G L Wilson]

Dick is a...goer.

[Delta40]

dickhead?

[G L Wilson]

Boong, abo. Both goers.

[Delta40]

So what does this selective censorship tell us about respecting one another?

[Calidore]

So what does this selective censorship tell us about respecting one another?

It apparently means you only have to if you're American, because you furriners can cuss us out freely with nary an asterisk. Discrimination, I say.

So can we please get some definitions for those all those wonderful non-American naughty words above, so that all can use them properly?

[Delta40]

fanny = vagina. That's why the world laughs when Americans say it!

[G L Wilson]

So what does this selective censorship tell us about respecting one another?

It's Unamerican for one thing.

[Delta40]

It's Unamerican for one thing.

Since nigger is perfectly acceptable, I suspect afro/americans don't get the same measure of respect as some other US citizens do.

****

[Red-Headed]

but not fucckke

Can you even write fucckke in the land of the free?

[Delta40]

no but I can say nigger as many times as I like and apparently its ok

[Red-Headed]

It's Unamerican for one thing.

Yeah, Americans don't respect much outside of the US, or each other apparently.

[Red-Headed]

no but I can say nigger as many times as I like and apparently its ok

What does that tell you on a forum where you can't write **** but you can write hen?

[G L Wilson]

fanny = vagina. That's why the world laughs when Americans say it!

Explain to the poor deluded Americans what rooting means in Australia, Delta40, and that a fag can be a cigarette?

[Delta40]

ha ha. I fancy one right now you dag!

[Delta40]

Explain to the poor deluded Americans what rooting means in Australia, Delta40, and that a fag can be a cigarette?

well the scottish equivalent for a root is a podger....

[Red-Headed]

Explain to the poor deluded Americans what rooting means in Australia, Delta40, and that a fag can be a cigarette?

There you go, faggots & peas (pronounced fagitts & pays) is a traditional Black Country dish. I'm not too keen on it though, I'd rather have a nice lasagne.

[Red-Headed]

well the scottish equivalent for a root is a podger....

What about 'todger' it's only another word for ****, so was pillock come to think of it.

[G L Wilson]

What does that tell you on a forum where you can't write **** but you can write hen?

Because censorship is crazy, and the Americans are crazy for it.

The Bill of Rights. Ha. The Americans crap on it every day.

"In God we trust." Well may they say that because they can't trust each other. The American founding fathers would be turning over in their graves.

[Delta40]

I like faggot burgers

[Buh4Bee]

You guys are so funny, I tell my second graders all the time to sit on their fannies. LOL!

Sorry, we all know that I am an American, Delta. No offense for budding in! LOL! Really. Remember, it's Saturday night. Hahaha!

[Delta40]

It's actually Sunday here...

This is the ship that sailed me from UK to Down Under

http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h411/delta40/Australis.jpg

[papayahed]

Since this thread has gone way off topic and has resorted to a list of words meant to test the filters it will now be closed.

Please remember this is an all age forum and refresh yourselves with forum rules, specifically 4c.