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ShadowsCool
07-25-2011, 06:21 PM
The Circus Freaks

Her name Mathilda
The mother of desolation,
Went lustily from tent to tent
To spread her flower lips.

She the venus fly trap
Planting the weeds,
To bring her thorns without roses
To grow out across the globe.

She and her boyfriend Jayson
The bane of life,
Brings forth his clowns
And his desirous damsels.

Who freely open their dress
For the freaks
Out on the circus floor.
With the trapezes in full swing,
A curious freak show.

Inside the ring of fire
They bring their greedy souls,
To have a feeding frenzy,
Devouring one by one
The unwitting souls.

Where I Ought To Be

Aah, I open my vein up to the searing sun,
How it slices open the tomato-like blood.
Aah, I'm slipping off to travel the moon
Where nothing happens to me any time soon.

Aah, Father in heaven beyond the clouds,
I commence my spirit into your hands.
If I'm sinning that's for you to understand,
I'm just slipping, slipping into a painless soul.

I've had a time here but now be done,
There's nothing from me to you I ask.
Just watch for my little one,
I'm just beating, beating down this goddamn pain.

Aah, I feel good this pain is leaving,
I'm slipping off to travel the stars,
I'm taking off this skin to set my spirit free,
I'm returning to sky where I ought to be.

Delta40
07-25-2011, 07:09 PM
two rather strange poems. Circus Freaks has some grammatical errors in it which need revising. I did not quite catch the atmosphere of the piece.

Where I Ought to be. I believe it is 'I commend my/thy spirit' rather than commence. The theme struck me as one of suicide.

ShadowsCool
07-25-2011, 07:30 PM
Delta,

Thanks for pointing that out. I bust these out too fast. I got to revise many of my poems.
I wrote 200 in 6 months. It's bound to happen. Especially since I have a problem with English anyway lol.

Shadows

Delta40
07-25-2011, 07:32 PM
wow! that's some manic writing!

ShadowsCool
07-25-2011, 07:34 PM
Delta,

I'm a manic personality lol. This after not writing a single poem for 15 years.

Shadows

Delta40
07-25-2011, 07:36 PM
lol. Well it won't take long to catch up at that rate....

hillwalker
07-26-2011, 07:42 AM
I bust these out too fast. I got to revise many of my poems. I wrote 200 in 6 months. It's bound to happen. lol.
Shadows


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