lost in my mind
07-24-2011, 07:44 AM
So this is my first story I've posted here and its a story i began several years ago in high school. Just found it a few days ago still floating around on the internet so I've decide to get back into the writing game and rewriting this. Its a first attempt in years at writing and if anything my grammar has gone down hill so yeah my apologies on that and any input positive or negative is appreciated. ty
Chapter 1:
Awaken
He was drifting thru a sea of lights, moving with the smooth fluid flow with no care to his finally destination. Everything just seemed to be in perfect balance that way, no thoughts to cloud his mind of what was to be, what had been, and what was. Time had no meaning to him in this place and had no place in his mind. All that mattered was that he was there now and he felt like he should remain for the time being, but it was not to be.
Slowly the light began to brighten and become a singularity instead of the sea of lights that had been his existence before. He stared at this light tell his eyes began to hurt, before his mind started to think of what was. It seemed such a foreign thing to him to think of the present, to wonder of what each thing around him represented, and where it stood in relation to his existence.
As his eyes began to water from the constant light he reflexively looked away from the source and learned the first thing of his existence, movement. It rushed over him like a tidal wave threatening to overwhelm him with its sheer volume of possibilities. If he moved his head this way he could see light radiating from above him. If he moved another direction he could make out his surrounds that at first confused him with how solid it all was. Was there more to his existence then the sea of lights?
With the discovery of movement came the discovery of his other sense, he could smell a faint odor that seemed to burn his noise and yet smell clean at the same time. He could hear the slight groan of the material that seemed to be wrapped around in and held him firmly down. He could feel that material bite into his arms as he tried to pull against it and felt how solid it was yet somehow had some give in it.
All this rushed thru his mind in only seconds and soon he found himself looking more closely at his surroundings and testing the limits of his motions. It was satisfying to be thinking of what was and he found himself beginning to think of what was to be if he did something now and how it would come to be. It was thrilling to lose himself in his thoughts for the time being but soon his thoughts turned back to the material holding him in place.
What would be if he could free himself from it? What could he do once he was free to move about and to more closely inspect what was around him, to learn the complexities of it all? The thought of being free brought a longing for that possibility that he found to be an inspiration to achieve that freedom and with that inspiration came a cold tingle that slowly spread thru his being at the thought of not being able to achieve that freedom.
That longing led to him first pulling on one strap and listening to the groan of protest it gave as it stretched until it would give no more. Then he would try again with a different movement of his being and listen to an equally defiant groan as another strap stretched until it too gave no more.
This continued tell he began to feel that cold feeling slowly grow and he notice that the more it grew the more he knew that he had to get free of the straps. This confused him for a moment for he had never experienced this before, such a powerful need to be free that it took over all aspects of his being leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. Before that feeling of vulnerability could take a firm hold of who he was he noticed something new that had not been before.
Sounds that moved from one source to another from somewhere outside his vision of the space he was in. Were there more spaces like this outside this one he was in wondered? The thought of this fascinated him but he quickly returned to the sounds he had heard. They seemed to be coming from two different sources for one moved thru the sounds in a beautiful clear high melody like liquid that he found soothing, while the other was a deeper more blunt sound that had neither the beauty nor elegance of the first. He listened to them for some time and soon began to see meaning behind the sounds that began to form words as they slowly became clear in his mind.
“How is the progress of the specimen coming along, and be clear and to the point. I am quite sick of your reports being full of technical terms and information that I find to be of no use to me.” The deep sounding source had a cadence to it that made it quick and to the point while the reply was smooth and fluid.
“Well then to be blunt he is perfect, the injections are still having some unpredicted results but not unfavorable. From what we can tell from the scans so far, his processing ability is far higher than previous experiments but he’s not using it so far as we can tell. Physically he is solid, with the proper conditioning he could be an overwhelming force to try and challenge. Most curious of all is the scans of his brain. He seems to be in a deep coma but parts of his brain are functioning that have never been known to.”
As he listened he began to move his face and found that he could make sounds come further from himself too but they had neither the deep blunt sounds of the first person, or the liquid grace of the second person, for they were people like him right?, and what made him think of himself as a person?, All these thoughts make him wonder more of what he was. The deep voice began again and at a much faster cadence then before.
“Have you no ideas as to what these parts of his brain are doing or capable of?” The deep voice had what seemed an edge to it. What did that edge mean?
“We have no idea, until now those areas of the brain were thought of as, for no better word, filler. There has never been any medical research that has shown any function to these areas. It is seen in many other species and not just humans, almost every know species has dead zones in there brain that seem to have no purpose.”
The voice washed over him like cold fire that soothed him and made him forget of everything around him but it. He was quickly pulled from that place of beauty, of tranquility and the deep voice cut into his thoughts with that same edge that brought feelings of anger and dislike to course thru his body.
These feelings, they were new to him and he began to inspect them as he had did the same thing as he learned of movement and sight while also keeping his ears open to the voices.
“I don’t care if these dead areas are unique to humans or not I just want to know what they do in our specimen and if they will hamper him in any way.” That edge again, it was almost something that could physically cut into his being. It made him dislike the voice even more.
“Hamper him? Hamper him from what exactly? We still have just begun to map out the workings of these dead areas and it will be some time before we can even begin to speculate at their purpose. I was under the impression that we had total freedom our research in the development of this specimen”
The melody was off now just slightly, was it the deep voices edge that had distorted that perfect sound? Was it the cause for this change? He could not be sure but the feelings or anger rose again tell it burnt thru his body like fire making him want to stop the deep voice from disturbing the beautiful melody any further. That also reminded him to the fact that he could not move more than the slightest amount, how was he to escape these straps?
“Surely you’re not that naïve doctor that we would not take the opportunity to use this specimen for our own needs once we learned just how impressive the injections worked on his physic. He would make the perfect soldier, that is if he’s trainable. So now I ask you, can he be trained?”
“Well if our scans are accurate the short and long term areas of his brain seem to show no activity, which leads us to believe that if he were to wake up he would have no memory of who, or even what he was.”
“That doesn’t answer my question doctor.”
“Yes he will be trainable, he’s like a blank slate right now waiting to be filled, but you must understand that he is completely empty, you would have to train motor skills, how to interact with the environment, even how to think on his own.”
“So Kain knows and remembers nothing then……” The deep voice said so quite it seemed it wasn’t something meant for the other voice, but to must have heard it.
“Kain? So the specimen does have a name, why has such a simple name been kept so secret anyways? I never understood that Jonathan.”
“It is of no concern to you doctor, he is only a specimen and I want it to be ready to proceed into testing of his trainability in one month.”
“One month? But that isn’t enough time to….”
“I said ONE MONTH doctor. That will be all.” The deep voice seemed to add the edge to its voice and again rage welled up in his body seeming to give him strength that he felt could be used to pull himself free.
He was still not sure what much of what the voices had meant by the words they had formed but a few thing stuck out in his mind that he seemed he should be able to place. One was this doctor the deep voice referred to, could that be what the graceful smooth voice was called? And it had called the deep voice Jonathan then if those were the words they were known as; then who was this specimen, this Kain they had spoken of? They had been close to where he was trapped, could they have been speaking of him?
So many new things were running thru his mind that he did not notice the sounds of something moving away from him in the distance nor the sound of door opening to his room. He first became away to the later when it walked in his sight in all its beauty that he knew at once this was the source of the voice he had heard in its perfect melody of liquid tranquility.
************************************************** ***********
Doctor Elizabeth did not care for the short pudgy man that was the facility manager and thus her boss. He was to blunt and to the point but expected every little detail to be explained to him in that fashion. This on her part lead to much of headaches in life, how was she to be blunt and to the point while still going over the work she conducted in the memos she had to turn in twice a day. Once in the morning when she began work and again before she turned in for the night on the few that she didn’t spend the night sleeping at her desk waiting for a result to finish being analyzed.
Still she had access to some of the most advanced research tools and a computer that far exceed the speeds and power of what she had used in the past. With this type of equipment a few hardships were acceptable; it was always the same, the better funded the research the more the funder wanted to interfere with it.
As she was about to walk away to her many lab she decided to check in on the specimen. she had precious little interaction with it, him she reminded herself, it was too easy to think of him as nothing more than one of the countless blood and tissue samples they took and the scans that seem to be endless in number.
How many times had she actually seem him in the flesh before, once maybe twice when they first brought him in and placed him in his bed that was full of sensors for monitoring every possible there was to about him.
The door to his room was overly secure she thought as she scanned her id that allowed her access to a smooth metal pad imbedded into the wall. She then placed her hand a the pad by the door that, instead of scanning her handprint which could be fooled or she could be forcibly made to access, it took a blood sample without puncturing her hand and read her bio signs to show that she was calm and not in any distress that could indicate someone forcing her to open the door against her will. Beside that the door was made out of a plate of some high tensile strength metal with several deadbolts that extended far into the wall so that one would have to demolish this entire section of the facility just to get the door off.
The door unlocked and the door slide open into the wall so quietly and smoothly for how thick the door was that if she hadn’t been watching it she would never have noticed it had happened. A slight grin touched her full lips at the thought of how paranoid Jonathan was with this specimen. No wonder there didn’t seem to be any woman in his life.
As she stepped into the room the smile quickly left her lips and the slightest of wrinkles slid across her forehead as she notice his eye on her. They were so vivid and full of wonder, the color of the deepest blue with a depth to them that captivated her causing her to take a few more steps toward him before her body caught up with her mind. He was awake?
Chapter 1:
Awaken
He was drifting thru a sea of lights, moving with the smooth fluid flow with no care to his finally destination. Everything just seemed to be in perfect balance that way, no thoughts to cloud his mind of what was to be, what had been, and what was. Time had no meaning to him in this place and had no place in his mind. All that mattered was that he was there now and he felt like he should remain for the time being, but it was not to be.
Slowly the light began to brighten and become a singularity instead of the sea of lights that had been his existence before. He stared at this light tell his eyes began to hurt, before his mind started to think of what was. It seemed such a foreign thing to him to think of the present, to wonder of what each thing around him represented, and where it stood in relation to his existence.
As his eyes began to water from the constant light he reflexively looked away from the source and learned the first thing of his existence, movement. It rushed over him like a tidal wave threatening to overwhelm him with its sheer volume of possibilities. If he moved his head this way he could see light radiating from above him. If he moved another direction he could make out his surrounds that at first confused him with how solid it all was. Was there more to his existence then the sea of lights?
With the discovery of movement came the discovery of his other sense, he could smell a faint odor that seemed to burn his noise and yet smell clean at the same time. He could hear the slight groan of the material that seemed to be wrapped around in and held him firmly down. He could feel that material bite into his arms as he tried to pull against it and felt how solid it was yet somehow had some give in it.
All this rushed thru his mind in only seconds and soon he found himself looking more closely at his surroundings and testing the limits of his motions. It was satisfying to be thinking of what was and he found himself beginning to think of what was to be if he did something now and how it would come to be. It was thrilling to lose himself in his thoughts for the time being but soon his thoughts turned back to the material holding him in place.
What would be if he could free himself from it? What could he do once he was free to move about and to more closely inspect what was around him, to learn the complexities of it all? The thought of being free brought a longing for that possibility that he found to be an inspiration to achieve that freedom and with that inspiration came a cold tingle that slowly spread thru his being at the thought of not being able to achieve that freedom.
That longing led to him first pulling on one strap and listening to the groan of protest it gave as it stretched until it would give no more. Then he would try again with a different movement of his being and listen to an equally defiant groan as another strap stretched until it too gave no more.
This continued tell he began to feel that cold feeling slowly grow and he notice that the more it grew the more he knew that he had to get free of the straps. This confused him for a moment for he had never experienced this before, such a powerful need to be free that it took over all aspects of his being leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. Before that feeling of vulnerability could take a firm hold of who he was he noticed something new that had not been before.
Sounds that moved from one source to another from somewhere outside his vision of the space he was in. Were there more spaces like this outside this one he was in wondered? The thought of this fascinated him but he quickly returned to the sounds he had heard. They seemed to be coming from two different sources for one moved thru the sounds in a beautiful clear high melody like liquid that he found soothing, while the other was a deeper more blunt sound that had neither the beauty nor elegance of the first. He listened to them for some time and soon began to see meaning behind the sounds that began to form words as they slowly became clear in his mind.
“How is the progress of the specimen coming along, and be clear and to the point. I am quite sick of your reports being full of technical terms and information that I find to be of no use to me.” The deep sounding source had a cadence to it that made it quick and to the point while the reply was smooth and fluid.
“Well then to be blunt he is perfect, the injections are still having some unpredicted results but not unfavorable. From what we can tell from the scans so far, his processing ability is far higher than previous experiments but he’s not using it so far as we can tell. Physically he is solid, with the proper conditioning he could be an overwhelming force to try and challenge. Most curious of all is the scans of his brain. He seems to be in a deep coma but parts of his brain are functioning that have never been known to.”
As he listened he began to move his face and found that he could make sounds come further from himself too but they had neither the deep blunt sounds of the first person, or the liquid grace of the second person, for they were people like him right?, and what made him think of himself as a person?, All these thoughts make him wonder more of what he was. The deep voice began again and at a much faster cadence then before.
“Have you no ideas as to what these parts of his brain are doing or capable of?” The deep voice had what seemed an edge to it. What did that edge mean?
“We have no idea, until now those areas of the brain were thought of as, for no better word, filler. There has never been any medical research that has shown any function to these areas. It is seen in many other species and not just humans, almost every know species has dead zones in there brain that seem to have no purpose.”
The voice washed over him like cold fire that soothed him and made him forget of everything around him but it. He was quickly pulled from that place of beauty, of tranquility and the deep voice cut into his thoughts with that same edge that brought feelings of anger and dislike to course thru his body.
These feelings, they were new to him and he began to inspect them as he had did the same thing as he learned of movement and sight while also keeping his ears open to the voices.
“I don’t care if these dead areas are unique to humans or not I just want to know what they do in our specimen and if they will hamper him in any way.” That edge again, it was almost something that could physically cut into his being. It made him dislike the voice even more.
“Hamper him? Hamper him from what exactly? We still have just begun to map out the workings of these dead areas and it will be some time before we can even begin to speculate at their purpose. I was under the impression that we had total freedom our research in the development of this specimen”
The melody was off now just slightly, was it the deep voices edge that had distorted that perfect sound? Was it the cause for this change? He could not be sure but the feelings or anger rose again tell it burnt thru his body like fire making him want to stop the deep voice from disturbing the beautiful melody any further. That also reminded him to the fact that he could not move more than the slightest amount, how was he to escape these straps?
“Surely you’re not that naïve doctor that we would not take the opportunity to use this specimen for our own needs once we learned just how impressive the injections worked on his physic. He would make the perfect soldier, that is if he’s trainable. So now I ask you, can he be trained?”
“Well if our scans are accurate the short and long term areas of his brain seem to show no activity, which leads us to believe that if he were to wake up he would have no memory of who, or even what he was.”
“That doesn’t answer my question doctor.”
“Yes he will be trainable, he’s like a blank slate right now waiting to be filled, but you must understand that he is completely empty, you would have to train motor skills, how to interact with the environment, even how to think on his own.”
“So Kain knows and remembers nothing then……” The deep voice said so quite it seemed it wasn’t something meant for the other voice, but to must have heard it.
“Kain? So the specimen does have a name, why has such a simple name been kept so secret anyways? I never understood that Jonathan.”
“It is of no concern to you doctor, he is only a specimen and I want it to be ready to proceed into testing of his trainability in one month.”
“One month? But that isn’t enough time to….”
“I said ONE MONTH doctor. That will be all.” The deep voice seemed to add the edge to its voice and again rage welled up in his body seeming to give him strength that he felt could be used to pull himself free.
He was still not sure what much of what the voices had meant by the words they had formed but a few thing stuck out in his mind that he seemed he should be able to place. One was this doctor the deep voice referred to, could that be what the graceful smooth voice was called? And it had called the deep voice Jonathan then if those were the words they were known as; then who was this specimen, this Kain they had spoken of? They had been close to where he was trapped, could they have been speaking of him?
So many new things were running thru his mind that he did not notice the sounds of something moving away from him in the distance nor the sound of door opening to his room. He first became away to the later when it walked in his sight in all its beauty that he knew at once this was the source of the voice he had heard in its perfect melody of liquid tranquility.
************************************************** ***********
Doctor Elizabeth did not care for the short pudgy man that was the facility manager and thus her boss. He was to blunt and to the point but expected every little detail to be explained to him in that fashion. This on her part lead to much of headaches in life, how was she to be blunt and to the point while still going over the work she conducted in the memos she had to turn in twice a day. Once in the morning when she began work and again before she turned in for the night on the few that she didn’t spend the night sleeping at her desk waiting for a result to finish being analyzed.
Still she had access to some of the most advanced research tools and a computer that far exceed the speeds and power of what she had used in the past. With this type of equipment a few hardships were acceptable; it was always the same, the better funded the research the more the funder wanted to interfere with it.
As she was about to walk away to her many lab she decided to check in on the specimen. she had precious little interaction with it, him she reminded herself, it was too easy to think of him as nothing more than one of the countless blood and tissue samples they took and the scans that seem to be endless in number.
How many times had she actually seem him in the flesh before, once maybe twice when they first brought him in and placed him in his bed that was full of sensors for monitoring every possible there was to about him.
The door to his room was overly secure she thought as she scanned her id that allowed her access to a smooth metal pad imbedded into the wall. She then placed her hand a the pad by the door that, instead of scanning her handprint which could be fooled or she could be forcibly made to access, it took a blood sample without puncturing her hand and read her bio signs to show that she was calm and not in any distress that could indicate someone forcing her to open the door against her will. Beside that the door was made out of a plate of some high tensile strength metal with several deadbolts that extended far into the wall so that one would have to demolish this entire section of the facility just to get the door off.
The door unlocked and the door slide open into the wall so quietly and smoothly for how thick the door was that if she hadn’t been watching it she would never have noticed it had happened. A slight grin touched her full lips at the thought of how paranoid Jonathan was with this specimen. No wonder there didn’t seem to be any woman in his life.
As she stepped into the room the smile quickly left her lips and the slightest of wrinkles slid across her forehead as she notice his eye on her. They were so vivid and full of wonder, the color of the deepest blue with a depth to them that captivated her causing her to take a few more steps toward him before her body caught up with her mind. He was awake?