In This Garden

[Jack of Hearts]

In this garden,

I saw the promise of a bud
yet to symphony in pink and red,
each wavy edge flowering outward
into as much space as it could eat-
unabashed, unashamed, and
spiraling into a cup of
earthen glory;

or, quietly withering the stalk
for twenty two years,
I saw the bud that never opened.

[Delta40]

Mmm. It's like colourful hope, lost over time. I find this poem obscure but I am sure it is more about me than the writer.

[Hawkman]

Hi Jack: This is a great poem, but I'm not sure about the last strophe. initially the reader is unsure exactly what you are saying here. In context, the metaphor of the unopened bud equates to the concept of "withering on the vine" but this is not what you have said. You have said the bud withered the stalk, which is both unexpected and much deeper. It implies that this bud killed the plant.

But the first word of this strophe, or, implies a conditional choice. The second strophe which precedes it, makes a statement. "I saw the promise of a bud..." The only way that or makes sense is if the previous strophe poses a question. i.e. " Did I see the promise of a bud..." "or, quietly withering the stalk/for twenty two years, the bud which never opened." In this case the "I saw" in the last line needs to be removed. If you change or to and then it would make sense and require no further alteration, but the meaning would be significantly changed.

Thought provoking lines though.

Live and be well - H

[hillwalker]

Thought provoking indeed - as if you are comparing a flower to someone who died an untimely death.

H

[YesNo]

If the bud is a human being and it has been around for 22 years, I suspect it has already opened. It just doesn't look like one expected it to.

[Jack of Hearts]

Thanks for reading. It must be getting to be a chore given the recent surge in output, but your readership and input is invaluable like always...






J