PDA

View Full Version : Rusted Lock



Delta40
07-22-2011, 06:08 PM
You want memories
well I know I've put them somewhere
Perhaps they're packed away
under the bed
in that battered suitcase
with the rusted lock
Just boil the kettle
while I try to remind me
over a cup of tea and a biscuit
where they should be.
Blowing kisses to you
across a platform on your way to work?
No, that's not far enough back.
Sticking your tongue at me
as if my girlishness might eat you.
Sharing a single gobstopper
germs and spit between us.
Taking the short cut
across Farmer Jakes paddock,
our socks gathered at the ankle
our shoes covered in ****e.
Now my biscuit has gone soft
Do I remember when I lost the key?
Of course not!
Feeling your hands explore me
in the frosty eve behind the coal shed.
Panting misty breath as the first erotic wave
made me tingle for sex and your scent.
We crumbled chunks of our childhood away.
I forgot games of hide and seek
hungry instead for more of you
all over me in the night
and I knew it then.
I would never look at the world
or you
with naive child eyes again.

Twota
07-22-2011, 06:21 PM
woooooooooow! I almost didn't use a dict for that one, and I really love it :D
specially:
''Feeling your hands explore me
in the frosty eve behind the coal shed.
Panting misty breath as the first erotic wave
made me tingle for sex and your scent.''

and:
''I forgot games of hide and seek
hungry instead for more of you
all over me in the night
and I knew it then.
I would never look at the world
or you
with naive child eyes again.''

I envy your skillfulness. :D

Jerrybaldy
07-22-2011, 06:25 PM
Old School Delta !!!!!
Highly personal but allowing the reader a glimpse with an eye through a hole in the picture. I particularly appreciated your opening six lines. It dragged me in, then wouldnt you know it,I was locked (and rusty of course)

Delta40
07-22-2011, 06:42 PM
Thanks guys

MystyrMystyry
07-22-2011, 06:53 PM
Definitely a tour de force of early exploration Delta - could have been longer even!

The title wasn't intended to be a play on red hair by any chance?

Delta40
07-22-2011, 07:09 PM
Old School Delta !!!!!
Highly personal but allowing the reader a glimpse with an eye through a hole in the picture. I particularly appreciated your opening six lines. It dragged me in, then wouldnt you know it,I was locked (and rusty of course)

Oh definitely rusty...will try to be old school here and there.

@ Mystr. Red hair, old age, chastity belt -whatever metaphor you think fits!

free
07-22-2011, 08:08 PM
Nice play of words giving impression of a game which the poem characters are engaged in. I like it. Thanks.