The Space I Leave

[Delta40]

I hold my breath and submerge my ragged thoughts
in your lime scaled bath, where gazing up,
I can hear my heart pound while the lightbulb shimmers in liquiform.
Soon I dream of billowing autumn leaves,
their whirling flurry scattering my hopes
that somehow I am essential to you.
You once drowned in my ocean blue eyes and murmured,
Our existence is composed of so much water.
We drank champagne by candle light,
your bath urging our lathered bodies to entwine.
Bubbles of air escape my lungs and rise to the surface.
How I long to stay at the bottom till I shrivel up.
You reach out a hand before I turn blue
and yank me free of my soap-filled illusions.
As you towel dry the remnants of our tattered love,
I weep over the precious memories of your bath while you fume,
See how full and still the water is!
That is the space you will leave behind in my life.
Yes, he is totally unmoved and still full.
Is the cold, naked truth so hard to bear?
I should have bathed in concrete and left an imprint.
With water it is like I was never even there.
Perhaps over time, it will fill in some gaps.

[Jerrybaldy]

Your poem stirred a very old memory in me of a poem my father would sometimes quote to me and I managed to find it:


There Is No Indispensable Man
by Saxon N. White Kessinger, Copyright 1959


Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego's in bloom
Sometime when you take it for granted
You're the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining
Is a measure of how you will be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you'll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man.
I particularly loved your dreamscape in the firt half of the poem Delta ( although I had to search hard for my feminine side to fully submerge into the bath with you) (so to speak :) ). I loved your phrase
soap filled illusions too.

I had difficulty imagining him saying


See how full and still the water is!
That is the space you will leave behind in my life. So get dressed and go.

You probably didnt mean that it was literally spoken, but I did stumble over it.

That small point aside, I loved it. Pass me a towel.

[MystyrMystyry]

Another good one! I swear I don't know how you do it Delta :)

[Delta40]

I think it peters out toward the end actually.

[PrinceMyshkin]

This has got to be one of the bleakest (and best conceived) poems you've presented. This line:


That is the space you will leave behind in my life.

is a KILLER!

[Delta40]

Thanks Prince. I'm still a bit unhappy with how it ends.

[everyadventure]

I like the overall idea, but I have to be honest: it isn't your best. I'm unconvinced. This guy wouldn't bother pulling you from the bath if he didn't care about you. The autumn leaves didn't mesh well with the ongoing water metaphor.Also, you switch from "you" to "he" at one point, which is a bit confusing. And the ending... well... shrug. Sorry :( You know I'm still your biggest fan!

[Delta40]

Thanks EA. It definitely is not one of my best but then I rank 100 year fever as wonderful but apparently it isn't so poetry really is in the eye of the reader!

[Twota]

OMG! That's one my favourites for you for sure. ;O I really enjoyed it. :D

[beautiful_heart]

Well.... I really like this poem as it shows your unconventional creativity. I never read any poem like this. :-)