Plumber's Block

[hillwalker]

‘PLUMBER’S BLOCK’

A dodgy drain at Number 8,
extension rods all laid out straight,
my rubber boots, my yellow pail,
my mug of tea and ‘Daily Mail’.

Then bam…


I stop to roll a fag;
the smell of methane makes me gag,
my fingers fumbling for the wrench
to close the valve inside the trench,
the spanner useless in my grip,
my ‘muse’ has given me the slip.

My brain’s become a marble block,
my body misaligned in shock,
I’ll never lag a pipe again
or handle polypropylene;
without a paddle up the creek
I just can’t face another leak.


H

[Twota]

I really like it :D as expected from my fav critique ;p you're not so rhyme hater after all ;D

[everyadventure]

Gasp! A rhyming poem! I suspect that Hillwalker's account was hacked... this must have been written by Biggus.

[Jack of Hearts]

This is hill being a little sh*tty about something (no pun intended)(pun intended a little).

An amusing read with a sensical rhyme.






J

[AuntShecky]

A funny bit of light verse, off the proverbial beaten track from Hill. It covers just about everything -- except for the plumber's pants which are legendary for what they "reveal." Or am I going too far with this "crack"?

[ShadowsCool]

I actually think the rhyme makes the poem. Good job.

[hillwalker]

Well, Jack is probably nearer the mark.

No, my account has not been hacked (by Biggus or anyone else for that matter). It's just that I've not been writing much poetry recently (prose projects taking priority - note the alliteration).

But earlier today I commented on the 'General Writing' forum about Writer's Block (something I tend to not believe in)... so to kill 2 birds with 1 stone I thought I'd see if i could still come up with something off the cuff, and if writers can have blocks why not plumbers.

Hence this rather throwaway poem - utilising rhyme just to prove how much I love it (not).

So many thanks to all for reading it... Twota - calling me your fave critique is rather like calling someone your favourite serial killer (but I'll take it as a compliment) - and Aunty - I think it's "builders' bum" you're alluding to rather than plumbers but again I'll consider myself flattered.

Again, thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. I'm now off to unblock an u-bend..

H

[Delta40]

I don't believe it! Hillwalker rhyming? I've got to have a whiskey!

A witty poem and wonderfully aligned with writers block

[hillwalker]

Thanks, Delta. You know I only despise rhyme when it takes control of the poetry to the detriment of what is trying to be expressed...
and by all means raise a glass to my health.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Aside from admiring the wit and ingenuity of this poem, I heartily agree with you on the abuse of rhyme or the felicity of it when it is well used (as in this example I often cite: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15301).

And as for "Writer's block" I've often wondered why we think we have a monopoly on that. Might there not be such a thing, for instance, as Loan Manager's Block, where you go in to apply for a loan and the Loan Manager says: "I'm suffering from a block. I could extend you a sort of loan but it wouldn't be worth much... You couldn't actually spend the money..."

[hillwalker]

Might there not be such a thing, for instance, as Loan Manager's Block, where you go in to apply for a loan and the Loan Manager says: "I'm suffering from a block. I could extend you a sort of loan but it wouldn't be worth much... You couldn't actually spend the money..."

@Prince : I think you've just discovered the reason behind the recent global banking crisis... and thanks for reading.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

I thought as a Hill post it had to be more than writers block. There aint no loan managers block as creativity is separate from form filling. A block may be when you are not unhappy enough and not happy enough to think of a single bloody thing to say that is worth the key tapping.

[YesNo]

I had to look up "lag a pipe". It looks like it actually is something plumbers do, but I wouldn't know.

Is "paddle up the creek" part of a plumber's jargon also?

Anyway, I wasn't aware that you were opposed to rhyme except from the comments of others in the thread. So why did you decide to use rhyme in this piece?

[hillwalker]

Thanks for reading Y/N - I'm no plumber, incidentally but FYI

'Lagging a pipe' is wrapping it in insulation to prevent winter freezing.

'creek' and 'paddle' are not plumbing terms :-) - merely a metaphor for being out of one's depth or not having the necessary tools to do what one is required to do (as I guess you already know).

Rhyme is the downfall of so many new poets - relying on strict end-rhyme to carry a poem through regardless of any sense, and often ending up writing terribly convoluted sentences in order to maintain the poetic form.
I rarely use it - but since I was making a tongue-in-cheek statement about 'writers block' I thought I'd also embelish this one with rhyme to make it even more sardonic.

As for writers having a monopoly on 'creative block' - well it's often used to excuse low productivity or lack of self-motivation that in most other careers would be considered laziness or lack of focus.

H

[beautiful_heart]

This is really a beautiful poem without any flaws. I really enjoyed reading it. :-)

[hillwalker]

Thanks so much - 'beautiful' is rather flattering, but I appreciate you reading it and adding a comment.

H