2 love poems

[ShadowsCool]

All That I Am

And so I'm writing to you a letter
Filled with words and feelings
Feelings describing our love
A love so deep you cannot establish
Cannot gaze or see it,
Yet it's all around, never ends
It's eternal from now to now
Always existing, tightly wound
Full of passion, wooed with affection
Words of love, words that do
Words you hear, as I whisper you
Words endeared, words of romance
Blowing in your hair, blowing everywhere
A possession, a true reflection
You'll possess, a true desire
You'll possess, all feelings of this man
All that I am, all that I can be
Is from you, Is for you
Your substance, your breath
Ignites me, drives me
To do more, to lastly adore
To ever love
You even more.

All Creation Was In Her

All prettiness patterned from creation
Was present upon your face.
A stupendous work of art
Made only by the glory of God.

And if man was to have his part
His chisels would have to work
Well into the night
Sculpting your gorgeous cheeks.

And if I had the right
You would be the crown of my kingdom.
A stunning present
Brought down from heaven.

[Delta40]

All Creation Was in Her is superb. It reminds me of Pygmalion's wish to Venus that the statue he sculpted of a woman would become real and his wish was granted.

The first poem has alot of 'feelings' and 'love' contained in it and detracts from the power of the poem.

[Twota]

I like the two poems ;D
specially -All That I Am- :D

[hillwalker]

I, like Delta, prefer the 2nd poem.

The first is very repetitive and way too gushy - it will hopefully be appreciated by the object of your desire, but it's not really worth a second read by anyone else on the planet.

Love poetry that is so very personal is best kept between you and your lover unless the general reader can somehow engage with the writer - or see something new that has eluded them. Unfortunately, your poem doesn't say anything remotely original - it's not even worthy of an entry into the Hallmark Valentine Card Hall of Fame.

H

[Jack of Hearts]

Icky.

You've hid a couple of good phrases in there though.





J