430, or, plans for Lake Chautauqua

[paperleaves]

a stale piece of toast, and a dark pot of coffee
are not enough to get me through this one.
I've been searching the lit corridors of my psyche,
afraid to turn on the lights in the cellar.
a white gown and soft white curls
can only fool so many suitors;
I'm not who you think I am,
nor who you want me to be.

I remember your sweet laughter,
the taste of your orange soda
on your lips and mine
the innocent afternoons we spent
hand in hand, and heart in heart.
I'm afraid to remember anything but the good
only because the bad doesn't do us justice.
I reminisce about the future, and plan out the past
when we'll sit on the dock with hot coffee mugs
and watch the children swim in the hot summer lake
you'll grade papers by the fireside, as I make you rosebud tea
and I'll head to work each morning filled with love, love,
love,
the love I've been weaned off of
but still can taste,
and don't you know,
that our orchard will be ripe with fruits,
you will be Adam, and I will be Eve, and our dark red wine stained lips will
seal us into eternity, like two poets etching memoirs into
concrete prison walls.

I know you're not who I think you are,
nor who I want you to be,
but if I keep pretending
perhaps I'll understand why I
can't stop dreaming.

[everyadventure]

Oh, such a lovely and wistful poem. I loved it all, except for the lines "you will be Adam.... prison walls," they felt a bit out of place.

Why can't people have the decency to live up to our expectations, hmm? Beautifully written.

[Delta40]

Paperleaves I reall loved this poem and especially the device of all the different flavoured drinks which somehow added to its deeper meaning. It contains romanticism and estrangement all at the same time.

Consider editing the line: the taste of your orange soda
on your lips and mine

The taste of orange soda on your lips and mine/on our lips. I only mention this because 'your' seems a bit bumpy here.

Lovely writing paperleaves

[Jerrybaldy]

You captured everything there, I have no idea about the title, but if your words are but a little part of you, you are beautiful paperleaves.

[paperleaves]

thank you so much everyadventure, delta, and jerrybaldy! delta, thanks for the tip! you are right, it does sound better that way. and yes, jerry, each poem is an enormous piece of me, so that is a great compliment :)

[Doralace]

It's one of the most beautiful poems I have read in a while... written with your soul's most subtle strings; you're a poetry aristocrat, paperleaves.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I agree with EA re the "concrete prison walls." In fact, because the last five lines strike me as anti-climactic and less vivid than so much that went before them I wonder if you'd consider ending with "seal us into eternity"?

[paperleaves]

thanks, doralace :) and yes, prince, I would have to rework it, but I do feel that you are right! I will edit in a while, let me know what you think.