Golden Triangle & 2 others

[ShadowsCool]

The Golden Triangle

Deleted

Gusty Wind Drops

The gusty wind took the long way home
Around the globe.
She gusted out of the blue and through the desert
And spilled into the plains and through the trees
And danced with the ferns and looped the hills
And billowed the clouds and spread out gentle
To caress your cheeks and lift your hair;
As I held your hand and asked the words:
Will you marry me?
As your eyes lit bright,
Like the gentle wind-drops that blew on your face
Beautiful and serene,
Like such lips that say I do.


The Kite

I'm going nowhere
locked in the wind
committed to no one
committing no sin

I'm far as can be
from any place known
far from problems
you all know

I'm free as can be
arms waving in the air
look at me
if you dare

I'm a dangling fool
but I think it's cool
look at me
nobodies tool.

[Twota]

OMG- I REALLY LIKE -Gusty Wind Drops- ALOT!

[Delta40]

I think I liked the Kite Flyer the best but the poem seemed to be more about the kite which was more powerful so I think the title is wrong.

I'm not much into rhyming poetry. There are few poems where it enhances the piece in my opinion but kite flyer was ok but it did not work for golden triangle.

I like the romanticism of gusty wind drops but got distracted by the constant And's at the start of several lines.

[ShadowsCool]

Twoto: Thanks for liking it. :)

Delta40: I thought about that. But it just doesn't seem to fit without them.
I'll have to look at it more closely. I was told by a poet to keep those 'And's'
out of starting lines. Yet here I bunch them together. The kite flyer. You may
be right. Maybe it's because I used that title for another poem. The golden triangle.
My poems don't always rhyme. Yet here I use a rhyme scheme. I think the poem called
for it. But if you think it distracted, then maybe it did.

Thanks

Shadows

[Delta40]

Always keep in mind that readers are diverse in their tastes and preferences. My opinion doesn't make it right. Go with your gut feeling, listen to what others say and chuck out the stuff you don't agree with!

[ShadowsCool]

I will keep that in mind. Thanks Delta :)

[hillwalker]

The 2nd and 3rd poems are pretty good - and you have obviously spent some time and effort on them. The rhyme in the 3rd one does it no favours, but the poem is still ok.

Rest of response deleted as 1st poem now removed.

[ShadowsCool]

H,

I will keep that in mind. I can't always read minds. However, you have many valid points.

Golden Triangle actually means the thing between the legs. But I thought I spelled that out.
I kept it hidden for a good reason.

I suppose it's a throwaway. Sometimes, I step up to the plate and strikeout. When I do, I make an As* of it.

Thanks for pointing it out.

Shadows

[beautiful_heart]

Hey Michael,

Both the poems are good however, I like Gusty Wind Drops the most.