Childhood is a Poem

[Vignette]

I remember hopscotch,
and drawing Dr. Seuss squares
with pink flamingo chalk –
my artist’s brush,
on a walkway that was my canvas.

And smiles of passersby,
warm as maple syrup
on Saturday morning pancakes,
as I tossed magic charms of youth

between the lines
of a child's poem
of summer and sun
and meter and rhyme.

In bobby socks and MaryJanes
and a dress of orange marmalade,
hopping effortlessly,
between metaphor and simile,

without a care,
for yesterday.

[Hawkman]

Hi Vignette. The first two verses work very well here, I think, but I'm not sure about S3 though as those shorter lines break the poem's rhythm. I'm also a bit confused by the MaryJanes as this is (or was) a euphamism for marujana joints - so it reads a bit strangely, and seemingly at varience with the warm memories or childhood being described. I think I'd leave the last two lines as one and include them in the previous stanza as well.

The are some wonderful images here though.

Live and be well - H

[Vignette]

Hi Hawkman, thanks for your comments, I appreciate them. I think you're right about those last two lines, and S3 is noticeably shorter.

The MaryJanes are a type of girl's shoe, popular for decades. They usually have low heels, rounded closed toes, and a single-buckle strap across the instep. I completely missed the connection in the shoe name to pot! Looking at it from that angle, what an interesting childhood, indeed! lol

[PrinceMyshkin]

I think the sunny innocence of the first two verses deserve something less 'grown-up' or at least less studied than the rest of the poem, where you seem to have become conscious that you were writing a poem and therefore you had to make some meaningful pronouncement.

Lovely title

[Vignette]

Hi PrinceMyshkin, I read over the poem again and you are so right! I didn't recognize it, but now it stands out. There is a transition from child to "grown up", to borrow your words. Not consistent throughout.

Thank you for mentioning it. I need to be more aware of this in my writing.