Lost In Your Eyes

[Dr.reid_16]

Let me know what ya think!

Lost In Your Eyes


I'm weightless in open waters.
I can fly through the sky, above all with no worries.
I can run faster then ever.
My body tingles, and my senses are enhanced.
All those feelings above,
are from you my love.
I feel those feelings,
when I'm lost in your eyes.

[Delta40]

I can definitely feel the romance in this and I would suggest not to use feel/ing too much in such a short piece as it becomes repetitive. I often use this link to help me when writing and offer it only as a helpful tool:

http://thesaurus.com/

the second line doesn't really flow grammatically

I can fly through the sky, above all with no worries.

Perhaps: I can fly in the skies above with no worry or something similar.

[Dr.reid_16]

Thanks delta, the second line has been edited :p

[beautiful_heart]

Its really a nice romantic poem showing the feelings of a person when in love. :-)

[Dr.reid_16]

thanks heart, I appreciate it! (: