Various Poems

[ShadowsCool]

-A Charmless Poet-

I am just a charmless poet
Singing songs in the wind
A kite without direction
Floating without a string

See me up there
In my careless ways
Blowing in the air
My catch phrases

I make no impact
Ripple no waves
I'm in a sky with no sign
Pointing home

I'm just a charmless poet
Singing my songs without a rhyme
A kite blowing without a string
Lost until I fall from the sky.

[hillwalker]

There's a lot here to absorb in one reading - and what struck me most about them was the frequency with which you destroy your work by including a clumsy line or two that breaks the spell

- clumsy because it's grammatically incorrect

'Life in a Doll's House' being a prime example

- or the metaphor is a little off,

'your tin heart' ??

- or the philosophical ramblings struggle to appear profound but are actually rather muddled

'If Not for Death' is hard going.

Ironically, 'A Charmless Poet' is the best of the bunch by far.

H

[ShadowsCool]

H,

I've been told that before with Charmless Poet. How ironic. Maybe it's because I just let it hang out. Either way, your correct. Revisions, revisions. Or should I say, I need to work on my English. Thanks

Shadows

[Delta40]

Hill in my opinion gives excellent critiques of work and for the poet or writer who is looking to improve, they will benefit from his comments. (some cry and never come back of course but that's about them and not Hill btw!)

I like this poem and its carefree in the wind style - a intentional without direction piece which is effective and I have felt this way too.

Well done!

[Doralace]

A charmless poet has written a charming poem! ah, this earth is full of wonder, and it doesn't matter where one "falls". Besides, before this happens, the wind, at least, enjoys the charmless poet's songs... :yawnb:

[beautiful_heart]

Well.... Michael i think you have composed this poem by keeping me in your mind lol. The lines quoted below seems to be dedicated especially to me:


"I'm just a charmless poet
Singing my songs without a rhyme
A kite blowing without a string
Lost until I fall from the sky." (just kidding) :-D


Anyway, its a nice poem. I like it. :-)