Log in

View Full Version : The Rotten Apple


kangels4ever
07-15-2011, 07:19 AM
I've deleted this story because it needs major restructuring and a different tone and feel.
BTW: my username is a salute to my most favorite novel of all time, Micheal Shaara's The Killer Angels.
hillwalker
07-15-2011, 09:44 AM
Deleted as original story has been removed by kangel

H
kangels4ever
07-15-2011, 11:40 AM
Fair enough.
If this were your short story, how would you restructure it so it wasn't bland in your view?
thebagman
07-15-2011, 05:34 PM
what is a kangel?
Delta40
07-15-2011, 06:26 PM
what is a kangel?

A dead Kangaroo now gone to heaven? :ciappa:
hillwalker
07-16-2011, 10:55 AM
Fair enough.
If this were your short story, how would you restructure it so it wasn't bland in your view?

Without going into detail I would begin by creating realistic characters - whose dialogue is closer to the way people actually speak in real life rather than on TV (i.e. no long speeches containing needless exposition).
And I'd try to come up with a plot where something happens to them - a touch of conflict followed by resolution rather than just an overdose of melodrama that ends up going nowhere.

H