Want to forget you someday...

[beautiful_heart]

Once again my eyes are drenched
in the tears of your love
and my heart is aching that
you have left

and I can’t think of the way to silence the erupting feelings
caused by your memories.

You left me years ago but still your memories are engraved in my heart
and once again i found myself stuck in the quagmire of your love.

Once again my eyes are drenched
in the tears of your love
and I am burning in the flame of your love.

You left me and never turned back
And here I am still waiting for you to come
to love me again.

Once again my eyes are drenched
in the tears of your love
And I am looking forward to forget you someday.

[hillwalker]

There's some raw emotion behind this piece, one assumes, but it suffers from far too much repetition.

There are words and expressions that appear more than once - not necessarily for poetic effect -

your memories (x2) - your love (x5) - not to mention the repeated lines that are presumably intentional

and you tell us the exact same thing in the second half of the poem that you already did in the first half - that you are missing the person who has left you.
My advice would be to tell us once only - then if you wish to elaborate on your feelings, do so from a fresher perspective.

I'm a little unsure of the first line of the second verse also -

and I can’t think of the way to silent the erupting feelings

'silent' should presumably be 'silence' - and 'erupting feelings' is a little over-dramatic.

Writing emotionally-charged poetry is never easy - unless you can come up with something truly original you are going to struggle to touch any one's heart. In this instance you have listed a number of reasons why you are crying, but it comes across as self-pitying and rather limp because the reader can't personally engage with your feelings unless we have some sense of the person who has left you.

H

[ShadowsCool]

Once again my eyes are drenched
in the tears of your love
And I am looking forward to forget you someday.

I like the ending very much. You look forward to forgetting someone, thus
setting your mind free.

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed your poem.

Attending to some of the poetics hillwalker noted will really polish off your poem.

Sincerely,
tailor STATELY

[beautiful_heart]

Thanks a lot everyone for taking your time to comment on my poem. I really appreciate that. And Hillwalker many thanks to you also. I'm not a poet but I'm trying to learn how to write. I was not able to write this poem and was struggling to edit it when it was finished. So I posted it here so that somebody can help me and will give me some useful tips about it.

I'll keep all these things in my mind while writing my next poem and will hope to produce a good piece of poetry for you all. :-)

[Delta40]

I can feel the forlorn lost love behind this but I was a little sidetracked by Once again, which detracted from the power of the emotion you're so obviously endeavouring to show. I admire romantics because it is one area that I have great difficulty in.

Go forth and conquer Beautiful Heart!

[kittypaws]

beautiful_heart know that you are not alone. I don't know what you plan to do with this poem but if you are just looking for a vent of your lost then it rings right on. If you are looking to be published ....yes, it needs work.

Hugz to you and good blessings in your endeavors.

look me up if you need more!

kittypaws

[beautiful_heart]

Thanks a lot Delta40 and kittypaws for your kind comments and motivation. I really need them and appreciate that.

Kittypaws I wrote my poems just to vent off my frustration and in the memories of my beloved whom I have lost a year back. Whenever his memories trouble me then I start writing them. I have no desire to get them published right now. However, as I am going to pursue my career in a field where I need some writing skills so, I joined this community where people like you can help me in brushing off my skills. :-)

[kittypaws]

Beautiful Heart you have joined the right place.

much success to you.

kittypaws