jilty
07-10-2011, 10:05 AM
Spy Lessons by Jilty Stowcross
Part One of Five
The key to good spying is doing the precise opposite of what people expect you to do. For example, if a spy is asked to follow someone, what would they usually do? Keep at a reasonable distance, I suppose; approximately, say, 20 metres. The idea being that, usually, your employer does not want the person you are following to know that they are being followed. But – and this is a big but – in my experience, the type of person that you might be told to follow is also the type of person who is very wary of people trying to follow them. Now, I know what you’re asking: how do I, Jilty Stowcross - one of Britain’s great spies – get around this problem? Well, I’ll tell you: I do the exact opposite of what is expected, and by that I, of course, mean that I stay right behind who I am following. I follow them like a Siamese twin to everywhere and anywhere that they go (with obvious exceptions – the bathroom being the first). This works because they never expect a spy to be this close. I suppose, ultimately, they don’t expect a spy to be that bad at spying. It’s called a double bluff, my ill-informed friends, and I am the master of it. And that is why I’m sitting right next to my target as he journeys into work on the train.
He peers over at me. Furrows his brow. “Are you following me?” he asks.
“Absolutely and unequivocally no,” I answer. This is a continuation of my double bluff – a complete denial of my spying. That’s key to spying, you see – making sure that others don’t know you’re a spy.
Part One of Five
The key to good spying is doing the precise opposite of what people expect you to do. For example, if a spy is asked to follow someone, what would they usually do? Keep at a reasonable distance, I suppose; approximately, say, 20 metres. The idea being that, usually, your employer does not want the person you are following to know that they are being followed. But – and this is a big but – in my experience, the type of person that you might be told to follow is also the type of person who is very wary of people trying to follow them. Now, I know what you’re asking: how do I, Jilty Stowcross - one of Britain’s great spies – get around this problem? Well, I’ll tell you: I do the exact opposite of what is expected, and by that I, of course, mean that I stay right behind who I am following. I follow them like a Siamese twin to everywhere and anywhere that they go (with obvious exceptions – the bathroom being the first). This works because they never expect a spy to be this close. I suppose, ultimately, they don’t expect a spy to be that bad at spying. It’s called a double bluff, my ill-informed friends, and I am the master of it. And that is why I’m sitting right next to my target as he journeys into work on the train.
He peers over at me. Furrows his brow. “Are you following me?” he asks.
“Absolutely and unequivocally no,” I answer. This is a continuation of my double bluff – a complete denial of my spying. That’s key to spying, you see – making sure that others don’t know you’re a spy.