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hoope
07-10-2011, 05:01 AM
I had a dream

Of Oceans deep

Of whales touching my cheek

But Just another dream



I saw the seals

The charming Starfish

The Walrus and Whales

While swimming along

It was all so real



I had that dream

A dream so sweet

Of you and me

But dreams just fade

Just fade as we wake



I saw the moon

But had the stars

Everything was real

Was real as dreams were



I was just dreaming

And dreams Fade

As we Wake !

YesNo
07-10-2011, 08:39 AM
This keeps me wondering whether the dream was real or not. Perhaps it is both.

I don't know why some of the words were capitalized within the line.

Also I am curious about what it means to "see" the moon, but "have" the stars.

Overall, I liked the two beats, accented syllables, per line that you generally followed which kept my interest and made me want to read it again.

hoope
07-10-2011, 03:52 PM
People who hold their hands on the good things forget about the best that they could get. ( Once u held the stars u forgot about the moon - and seeing it from far.. )

I also don't know why i capitalized some words..i wanted to not to :D

Thanks for ur comment !