Borrowed

[the facade]

Borrowed

Stolen laughs
from a borrowed afternoon,
pocketed in nooks.

Those laughs
will be tugged at,
until old age barges in
and strips us of our clothes.

Then only those laughs
will remain,
that have been stolen
by others
who shared our laughing
pockets,
for a little while.

[Jerrybaldy]

My impression reading this was that your tale was told but not enough clues were scattered to allow us to join you.

[Delta40]

I'm a wee bit lost on this as if stolen laughs are all that is left

[hillwalker]

I'm assuming that all we have left are the memories of those pleasurable moments that made us laugh - ut I wasn't sure where 'stolen/by others' comes in unless the 'others' are the ones who survive after we pass on.

H

[the facade]

JB, D40, Hill - thanks for commenting. Looking over it again I realize it might be a tad too self-indulgent and uncommunicative. Could you pinpoint what irks you?

Hill and Delta, you are both right - what we pass on after our deaths are those shared laughs.

[Delta40]

glad to know some of your poem impressed itself upon me. The legacy of past laughs handed down is a nice thought too...

[hillwalker]

Could you pinpoint what irks you?

I couldn't work out why in v.3 these laughs need to be 'stolen' by others rather than just shared.

H