The Kitchen

[kittypaws]

Have you ever walked
into your kitchen
With a mission in hand?
Mine was to preserve the beets.

Parboil, cool, slice and freeze.

But once in the kitchen
I spotted the display
Of two cobalt blue goblets,
a serving pitcher
In which cold ice tea
was served.

Two candle holders,
with gold candles only a third burned,
All layered in kitchen grease
and other things.

They had to be cleaned,
To wash away the memories.

I went on a spree and cleaned everything.
The walls, ceilings and the cabinets
as the beets parboiled;
The goblets sparkled.
Then I cooled, sliced and froze
Everything.

kittypaws

[hillwalker]

The more time I spend on here the more bewildered I become by the sheer number of poems continually posted by people unable to express themselves in English, who have nothing new to say, and lack basic quality control. They post every single thing they write then expect us to find a hidden gem or two in the dross when there's usually nothing in there at all worth salvaging...

...then there's you. You're a good writer with something original to share, and there's always a touch of magic hidden in there somewhere.

Having said all that, when I read the original version of this poem I began to suspect you also had quality control issues - so much trivial detail about beets and your dog; what I call blog-fodder.

But you have now edited the piece so that the focus shifts to something far more intriguing.

I'm still not fully convinced that the first 5 lines fit in - although I can see you intended showing how doing something mundane can concentrate the mind there's a lot of unnecessary material that detracts from what follows. And the ending is also perhaps a little rushed - we need to discover more about why the memories had to be washed away - and far less on the domestic detail of cleaning and parboiling.

This deserves another edit to remove everything associated with beets - the reason why you wrote this in the first place I'm guessing - and get down to the nitty gritty of spring cleaning your life.

H

[Delta40]

I like the last few lines, although somehow you have washed the memories away, you have 'froze' or preserved them along with the beets. Is there no way to free ourselves from the past then?

[kittypaws]

H ~ you are too kind. One day I will be a writer and a damn good one.

Every time I write sometime I say to self "what of this has no meaning to what I want to express." Thinking of how many times you have told me about tearing down the scaffolds. Thank you for your words....I am listening.

Delta...I am glad at least you liked the last few lines. It would be so nice to freeze the unpleasant times of our lives, would it not? To store them away to be thawed out...ha-ha ~ probably never as no one wants to relive the pain.

Thanks to both of you....you encourage me and keep me going.

I will work on a re-write and then another till I get it where it should be.

kittypaws

[everyadventure]

Geez, Hill, I was holding my breath for a minute, thinking your review was bordering on cruel... but phew, you came around :)

This is precisely the type of little domestic poem I adore. And Hill, of course it's all a metaphor, so can't you forgive the beets? Or do you just dislike beets altogether?