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notebookwriter
07-03-2011, 03:28 AM
We were giving presentations. Then she was chosen to go next. Everyone cried a little on the inside. "Go ahead, Mrs. Baker," said the teacher. "Thank you," she stuttered. "Um, well, for my presentation, I thought I would...well, I mean that I am going to, uh...well try to...." she hopped along. "To the point, Mrs. Baker," the teacher lazily announced. "Well, to be honest, I never finished my presentation, but I can tell you why!" she perked up at the thought of telling a story. "You see, when you assigned the presentation last Friday, I thought that I would go right home and get to work," she started. Everyone in the class sighed, another one of her stories.

"When I got home, I decided it would be a good first step to check my email, you know, clear my head of all distractions. Well. Sally had sent me a link to a video. And the video was ridiculously stupid," she was picking up speed. "So I tried to dislike the video, but then I had to sign in and write a comment so I could dislike it. Then, of course, I had to send an email back to Sally telling her that it was the stupidest video I have ever watched. Before I could even logout, and get to work on my presentation, she immediately sent an email back that said that she had sent me the wrong link. So I clicked the new link and the video was the funniest thing I have ever seen. SO, I watched it five times. Now, this video was hilarious so I had to send it to all my friends so they could laugh too, " she was smiling now, as if she was expecting us to respond. The class lightly groaned, we had all seen the video and we knew what was about to happen.

After not getting the reaction from us she expected, she continued on to describe the video, for the two people who hadn't watched it. "You see, in the video, there are these two guys, and they are standing in the middle of a crowded street. Then they suddenly stopped, raised their hands and ran at each other yelling 'Ahhhhh'." Her nervous laugh did nothing to wipe the bored looks from our faces. Someone sighed exaggeratedly. She ignored it, and went on with her "presentation", no signs of interesting anywhere. "And after that was over, I had to go ask my mom from money, because I realized I was out and remembered that I needed to get some before I forgot. So after I got that, I decided it was time to sit down and work on my project. But then, your never gonna believe what happened! Sally texted me and had the nerve to be mad at ME for sending out her link. I sent a text back that I never wanted to talk to her again. Then Rhine started to text me and before I knew it, it was dinner time. And, your never going to believe what happened after dinner..."

We all knew what happened next, we each heard this story individually before class. Luckily, the teacher stopped her before she bored us all to death, and I think only 2 people dozed off this time. We don't have to worry though. It will happen again soon enough. "At least she didn't get to the part about the library," the next presenter started. Everyone shuddered, sighed, and groaned "Eh, the library."

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Thanks for the comments, I edited it to include a little more organization :)

MANICHAEAN
07-03-2011, 03:47 AM
Dear N
I enjoyed it. I found it amusing, although I not sure if that was your intent. Reminded me of my first wife. Could never get a straight answer & the stories always went round in circles or at total tangents!
One comment. Space it out a bit, with some paragraph spaces, as its difficult to read.
Best regards
M.

hillwalker
07-03-2011, 05:26 AM
I also found it quite enjoyable - very life-like in the way people actually speak and their thought processes - never finishing one thought properly before launching into the next.

But like Mani I found it difficult to read because it's a single, long paragraph with no breaks or line spaces.

You would be better separating dialogue and description into separate paragraphs with a line space between each.

It might mean the posting stretches to more than twice it's size area-wise, but will be much easier to follow.

H