The Road of Woe

[Dr.reid_16]

Tough times force me to isolate myself and write, here's what was produced:


The Road of Woe

Darkness clouds the morn.
The fear of death,
and shadowy ends,
destroy bright ventures to knowledge.

Cuts and blood are frowned upon.
Disorders are hidden,
misunderstood,
and swept away.

Pills of large amounts,
swallowed and absorbed with anguish.
Yet another trip,
another lonesome night.
They wait, and wait,
until the release,
after seven days, full of pain and sorrow.
One week of gloom.

The child transformed into an adult
in a matter of minutes,
not years.
Saddened and frightened,
with no place to go,
except up ahead,
there’s the road of woe.




Comments are greatly appreciated!

[ShadowsCool]

Dr. Reid

I like it. The only change I would make is the last stanza. I would delete: not years.
It flows better without it. Great Job in my opinion

[Dr.reid_16]

Thanks i appreciate it! :)
And will do about the last stanza, you're right it does flow a bit better, thanks again

[Delta40]

Perhaps woeful poems are your forte Dr Reid. I even liked:

Tough times force me to isolate myself and write!

I would remove years too

[Dr.reid_16]

this is a dark world we live in. . . well atleast to me it is. i only write about my surroundings and the odd "happy" poem is only to try and make my world a happier place, or less sad xD
thanks though!

[Delta40]

Feel free to review other poems... :-)

[hillwalker]

It's glum - but you write about anguish in a way that the reader can feel your emotion without being 'turned off'.

My only criticism of this poem would be verse 3 which could be tightened - 'pills of large amounts' is rather a clumsy expression - and who are 'they' who 'wait and wait' - the pills?

H

[beautiful_heart]

I really like the inception of the poem and its title is quite attractive. Nice poem about the bitter reality of world.

[Dr.reid_16]

Hill, to answer your question, in this poem a person (who shall remain nameless) has a mental disorder, and must take pills to remain stable. After taking to many pills, said person is sent to the hospital, they (the person's family) waits for that person to be released from the hospital. This poem is all about recent occurrences in my life, just thought of on the spot and I put it on paper.

And thanks beautiful_heart

[hillwalker]

Thanks Dr.R - I gathered this was a poem about someone needing medication to help them cope with life - but without introducing the individual's family the reader is unlikely to figure out who 'they' are unless you refer to them more specifically... just a thought.

H

[Dr.reid_16]

thanks, yeah I'm going to look it over a few more times. Thanks again

[everyadventure]

Dr.Reid-- Been there, my friend. And it's truly awful how such experiences can completely change a person... as though they've been snatched away, almost overnight.

Keep writing, it's a great outlet, and one of the healthiest ways to cope.

[Dr.reid_16]

thanks every! (: