Girl Dissolving

[hillwalker]

GIRL DISSOLVING

The streets are strewn with coral seed,
stiletto echoes
punctuate the paving stones.

Morning Mass,
detritus of a prayer,
regret regurgitated in a doorway.

How the blossom blushed with shame,
the tidal ebb exposed the game,
the scaffold built of guilt and blame;
death at low water.

H

[everyadventure]

You've married images that seem to conflict, creating a very unusual poem. The stilettos imply something cheap, especially considering they're walking the streets. But then you bring us to Mass-- which I assume is a euphemism rather than actual church-- and that casts a holy glow over the scene, even though it's tinged with the shame of confession.

And then a "blossom" and the sea at low tide... frankly this poem might have too many images for it to have the precision that is the hallmark of a Hillwalker poem. Of course, it's entirely possible that it is I who am being obtuse...

[Hawkman]

There is some startling imagery in this piece hill, and for someone who is on record as stating their distaste for rhyme you seem to thrown a few in for good measure!

The coral seed was an interesting opener, and seems a very tasteful way of describing a singularly unsavoury image. It suggests the profligacy of coral spawning but, in context, inevitably leads one to an image of the streets strewn with used condoms!

I loved, "stilletto echoes / punctuate the paving stones."

The general setting is implied in S2 of a Sunday morning after the excesses of Saturday night spree on the tiles, works very well I think.

The shift from streets to the beach, though, with the low tide image, (perhaps stranding the unpleasant detritus of faunication), is a little jarring and I'm not certain of the significance of death at low water. Spiritual death, perhaps - but, more literally interpreted, I'm not sure that a failure to engender life can be classified as death. Can you be talking about a body washed up on the beach? I don't think that the guilt over the implied sins of the flesh warrant suicide though, and there isn't really a hint of murder in what has gone before.

The last verse therefore reads as quite religiously jugemental.

Nevertheless, an interesting poem.

Live and be well - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm intrigued by the interpretations of the two who posted before me. I wasn't able to make such a coherent narrative as each of them did but am content to think of these as three separate, vivid scenes that have some undefined connection. Undefined or not clear to me.

[Jack of Hearts]

Got a lot of evidence to suggest this is about baptism.






J

[Delta40]

Loved the scaffold built of guilt and blame Hill.

[kittypaws]

What I take from your poem is a street walker who tried to make a change but was rejected. Perhaps she met the perfect man and was trying to flee the streets….Yes now that I have thought it thru..... A woman who thought or wanted to change for a man she loved and then found out she could not.

Am I close?

kittypaws

[hallaig]

Reminded me of an Iain Crichton Smith poem. Interesting narrative and contrasts, some good imagery. I myself find the idea of 'echoes...punctuating...stone' a bit incongruous, and I'm also not sure about the inclusion of the three rhyming lines in the last section. Liked it though.

[Jerrybaldy]

I have lost count of how many times I have read this and how many times I have changed my mind of its meaning, my final thought is the death of a child an abortion a murder

[MystyrMystyry]

You're lucky JB - I've come to no solid 'conclusion' as to it's meaning - typical Hillwalker, nothing for months, and this is how we are repayed for our patience.

My guess is that it's about the time the Trollgods taught humans how to cook jellyfish with mayonaise, and as way of tribute offered up a burning scroll which gilt lettering encapsulated the words 'All of your hairdo's are beehives' scribed in the ancient tongue of the Trojans (it was new then). Insulted, the Trollgods brought forth a hailstorm the size of soccerballs and thus the game of 'run away from the big icy things!' was born.

(Wikipaedia)

[everyadventure]

I'm beginning to suspect this is not a poem at all, but some type of psychological test. What does it mean, that Jack thinks it's about baptism, I think it's a hooker, and MM thinks it's about Trollgods?!

[PrinceMyshkin]

There is something about those three rhyming lines in the last verse that reminded me of Blake's "London"


How the chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackening church appals,
And the hapless soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down palace-walls.

But most, through midnight streets I hear
How the youthful harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the marriage-hearse.


which led me to wonder if the whole of the poem was about the chaos and disintegration of contemporary life - but that, of course, does nothing to encompass the "girl dissolving" of the title.

[yuka]

I particularly like the last stanza, more exactly, the last line of the last stanza, some special air under it attracting me, althought the last stanza seems a little bit abrupt to transition from the former section, like others, I not so sure about what meaning of this poem, a murder? from the title, no idea.

It's said that, the more obscure, the stronger vitality :)

[hillwalker]

Apologies for my delayed reaction – hectic times…

At least it has given you all time to cogitate over the poem – and attempt to reach your own interpretations.

Firstly – the difference between the first 2 stanzas and the third is simple enough to explain. They originated as two drafts for two separate poems, but as I explored the topic they seemed to fit. I’m not sure how seamlessly, but I’m sticking with them.
It's been a while since I've had my poetry head on so I'm still a little rusty.

What’s it supposed to be about?

Well, I have a young friend who tends to live a life of excess yet has deep, religious convictions. So I took her plight to the limit – and beyond - exploring both extremes: a girl who chooses to follow a sexually liberated lifestyle yet is wracked with Catholic guilt.

As Hawk was astute enought to figure out, the Morning Mass is a religious reference to the morning after the night before; alluding to her kneeling in doorways but not at prayer.

As for the ‘death’ - it's the death of her soul as she sees it rather than murder or abortion, etc. And it is by no means me who is being judgemental – merely an impartial observer attempting to record how she reflects on her choice of life and suffers because of it.

I’m not sure I can hand out prizes to any single person for hitting the bullseye since a number of you came close to the mark. But as yuka rightly says, whatever interpretation you put on it, if it makes sense then it’s a valid one.

However I guess the booby prize goes to MystyrMystyry – and I won't elaborate.

Thanks all for reading and ruminating - your feedback is much appreciated as ever.

H