Woke Up in A Bad Mood

[MystyrMystyry]

Woke up in a bad mood
I did
Really grumpy me
Wanted to kick something
Kick it hard until it busted
Wanted to punch a hole
In the wall
Put my fist straight through it
To the other side

Didn't though

Made breakfast
To feel better
But all I could think was
Sawing someone's head off
As I sliced into the bread

I felt like cracking -
Cracking someone's skull
With a shovel
Had to make do with
A spoon to a soft boiled egg
It looked like runny brains
Spilling out

Wanted to jab someone
With a pitchfork
A few times
Had to settle on doing it to my sausage

Felt like chopping someone in bits
And hiding them in a cave
Couldn't though
Cut up my sausage instead
And ate it


Quit the fuc kin' hammerin' ya barstard!

[Delta40]

lmao. What is this? Jeffrey Dahmer at breakfast???

[MystyrMystyry]

No Delta - that's actually me at breakfast with my stupid annoying idiot landlord banging in the shed in the background. Glad you got a laugh out of it.

[hallaig]

Made breakfast
To feel better
But all I could think was
Sawing someone's head off


This is a common early morning experience in the McMillan kitchen. Empathise!

[MystyrMystyry]

That's one of the modern perils halaig - the trouble with this particular arsehole's noise is it takes over all other noise, begins at 6 am, and I have to go at least five streets away just to hear the traffic in peace.

[Jerrybaldy]

Love this MM. A part of me hopes your landlord pisses you off for some time to come so i can read about it.