The

[ShadowsCool]

I saw a great vision: a searing sky opened up,
All attention gathered, all souls were called
From all corners of earth, the air, the seas,
Nothing was left untouched,
As the seas whipped mightily
And great ships rolled under giant waves.

I saw in the sky a great white ball
A rolling flame of fire
As heavens opened up
And a loud boom shook the earth from it's core.

Then I saw terrified hearts that hungered
For peace and security,
But none was to be found.
As the great bell rang of a rippling charge,
And all freedom that lay upon the earth was no more
As mortals great and small where shed of will.

They were standing and some crawling
Out of graves with graven faces,
And bones with shreds of flesh: even being able to walk,
As days of old were not to be found upon the earth,
For even the clouds shed their moisture
As earth became reduced to a ball of dust.

And one by one they gathered, half dead beings,
Bones of old, souls with no bodies,
Facing verdicts and being cast off into the new earth,
With old fears becoming new tears as the great tribulation began.

[ShadowsCool]

Dear Readers:

Please make a note that the title is:

The Sixth Seal

Regards,

Shadows

[everyadventure]

Ah, the ending begins! May I ask which version of the Bible you're referencing? Do you feel you are taking poetic license with the details, or is this a literal interpretation as you see it?

[ShadowsCool]

I never censor myself when I get an inspiration. This came as an inspiration piece. People can read what they want into it. The subject matter means little. It's just a piece I came up with and wanted to share. I write about all subjects. Thanks for asking.

[everyadventure]

When it comes to poetry, the subject matters a great deal! I was just curious about the writer's perspective.

You did an excellent job portraying a grisly end.

[ShadowsCool]

Thanks Everyadventure!

I have written a few pieces on the subject and maybe down the road I will share the others. I'm sure you get inspiration too and you can't write fast enough to jot down the thoughts that are swirling in the mind. (run-on? lol) Appreciate your comments.

Shadows

[hillwalker]

Not sure that this qualifies as a poem -regardless of your own personal vision, you need to work harder at engaging the reader. It's more like a private religious moment - not really worth sharing unless you have something new to say.

H

[ShadowsCool]

HillWalker,

Your Tough! What qualifies as something interesting? Is it Keats you want?
Not sure what it is that rocks your boat, nor do I care to know.

I write what I like. Maybe that's the problem, you want what (You) consider fancy poetry. Well it don't work that way. Poetry is free. Good or bad. Show me some of your better work and I'll dig out mine.

I'll post a few more then I'll be on my merry way.

At least some other members have offered their advice (without the condescending remarks).

What can I say, I'm fairly sensitive.

Shadows

[hillwalker]

It's probably because it's a little too fancy (trying to emulate Keats?) that I failed to engage with this.

I'm not criticising it because it doesn't fit in with what I 'like' - I'm always ready to be surprised... to have my curiosity tweaked or my view of the world expanded by something new. But this reads more like a sermon from some hell-fire-breathing preacher. It shows an effective use of language - but to what end?

And there's no need to wait for an invitation to tear my work to pieces - feel free. There's plenty of it on here (on the archives) if you care to dig deep enough.

I'm not trying to stifle your creativity or destroy your self-esteem - just telling it as I see it. If you take your writing seriously you'll take on board the good points and the bad - if it's a little hard to take then apologies. I mean well...

H

[ShadowsCool]

Shadows

[ShadowsCool]

Hillwalker noted: "But this reads more like a sermon from some hell-fire-breathing preacher. It shows an effective use of language - but to what end?"


That was the point of this piece. To read like another take from revelation. Nothing more. So I used over the top language. Is it poetry? Probably not. So I will give kudo's to you for pointing that out.

You gotta cut me some slack Hillwalker. I haven't written in 15 years and I'm still working through the cobwebs. I am reading every day in order to improve my craft. I would expect my poetry to return to a higher standard once I regain some footing.

If you have suggestions (concrete) on who I should read, I will be willing to heed it.

Thank you for your critique.

Shadows