A Consuming Dream/In Memory of Her Wish

[ShadowsCool]

Love Against Time

I reach inward and touch a delicate part
That once ached with pain,
Now fully mended
With the knowledge that you love me
For who I am,
The creator of rhymes
That I've become.

And in selfish pleasure
I reach inside of you
To touch your vision;
And I hear a gentle moan
Of great pleasure.
Was it for me?
Or was it for you?

I search eyes but come up empty.
In the desolation of my mind
I fill it with laughter,
Sparking your eyes,
Which open childlike to my mine
As we join together, our private parts.

Man in woman
Filling the void,
A world we come to enjoy.
A lover forever
Or a gentle dream?
That only time will tell.

What flows out of streams
Parts on the ocean,
Like two lovers
Under the wayward moon
Gasping for each other,
But falling further,
Lost against the far away stars
That seem to defy their very meaning,
Offering no warmth on a cold thought.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Matters of Heart

Our existence appears
Day to day,
Chores fill the moments whether
Work or play.

We have our baskets
Contained therein our clay,
We mold them daily
Our character some way.

We keep them hidden
Resisting a way,
So no one may know
The scars we'll etch today.

Such blind fools we are
With matters of the heart!
Nothing is gained
By that we outsmart.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



A Bed of Dreams

Lay upon my essence the gentle thoughts
Exhaling in the air,
With my eyes gazing there
In the profoundness of a dream,
Marveling if I'd been put there
Bustling in the spirit of the wind.

My soul can conform to the calmness
Prevalent on your expression,
As though dreams also slumber
Endless where it shall,
Arise in the comforting arms
Guiding them to my will.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



A Consuming Dream

Away from civilization
Is a way of tranquility,
As I shift easy
Adrift the stars.

Where a wind drift
Mettle's in a fine dream,
Consuming in me
Its peaceful glow.

To roam about unleashed
Enduring and free,
Giving all a breath of its
Invigorating air.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



In Memory of Her Wish

You left without saying hello
Diving headlong into the news,
And I had for you but a tear
Left from another day,
A falling star
Obscured by the city.

On sunshine that day greeted you,
And you made me take notice
Why you left so soon,
Why we couldn't grab a chair and share
A passing moment,
A moment that should have saved one of us
That fateful day your world never knew.

[everyadventure]

Hello? Did shadows steal these from somewhere? Anybody else astounded by the poetic progress this guy has made?

Each of your postings is considerably better than your last. I really like both of these, but there are a couple things that could use tweaking. "Consuming in me / its peaceful glow" didn't really make sense. Consuming means to use up or eat, so...?

Then word "roam" seemed slightly off. You use words like "adrift" and "shift," which bring to mind either a boat on calm waters, or a seedpod on the wind. "Roam" sounds restless and purposeful, so you might consider replacing that.

In the second poem, stanza 2 seems largely unnecessary. It seems a little amateur compared to the first. If I were you, I'd keep the first stanza, then cut the lines "Why couldn't we grab a chair and share / a passing moment?" and end with that.

I really, really love these. Thanks for sharing, they're wonderful.

[ShadowsCool]

everyadventure,

Thanks. Actually they are mine, I can assure you. These are not poems I just wrote, they are from my collection. You bring up some very good points! I will look to tweak both of these as you point out.

I catch your drift. I tend to over-inflate my poems with unnecessary verbiage and words. I got to remember: simple stupid. Get out of the way of the poem and let the poem speak and make sense. Well thanks for reading and pointing out some valid suggestions.

Shadows