On The Hospital Bed

[Twota]

On the hospital bed, she lies
shivering, struggling to breathe,
drawing a smile on her dead face
and saying that it's alright.
So i hold her hand, burst into tears,
and i try to speak, but she
seals my mouth with a trembling finger.


Her skin is colder than the deads'- its freezing,
yet her touch, warmer than a mother's embrace.
He's here , I can feel his grisly presence,
it's like the room was evacuated
and we're left in the gloomy space,
her hand in mine gets colder,
the pulse rate decreases bit by bit.


I tighten my hold on her bony hand
and promise her to never let go,
like i am challenging him
to take her away from my side,
but my rival is way too strong,
for no matter how tight my hold goes,
his infamous will, will soon become.

[everyadventure]

My favorite posting of yours so far. A tender moment, and you captured the desperation of the situation. A few lines could be reworked: "cold as ice" is predictable, can you come up with a new way of saying that? And "the pulse rate decreases bit by bit" sounds very clinical whereas the rest of the poem is emotional.

You're getting better and better!

[Twota]

Yaay! =D thank you , glad you like it =DD and i ll try to come up with something instead of the -pulse rate- and -cold as ice- for its too corny yah :/