Year

[hallaig]

Poem has been removed for now

[Jack of Hearts]

... and juicing the sun like an orange...

You've brought your guns to town with this one, haven't you?

That's twice now you've left this reader nothing to do but admire.






J

[everyadventure]

I love the imagery of pearl strands made of rain. Your poems have a way of awakening all the senses. Lovely.

[hillwalker]

Your economy of expression never fails to deliver. Another wonderful piece of poetry,

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I cannot make head nor tail of "juicing the sun like an orange". I admire the fastidiousness of your line-breaks all the way through and am dazzled by the middle two lines of the final stanza!!!!

[Bar22do]

I think I can feel how you "juice the sun like an orange" after the rain, it's a great image, imo. And the poem a pearl. Thanks, Bar

[AuntShecky]

Allow me to let you in on a little secret.

Earlier today I read a comment in which a member stated an opinion which held that "few" members of the LitNet shouldn't be "posting publicly. Obviously he must've missed your posting and the three outstanding pieces above yours in the queue.

I,for one, am extremely impressed by the talent displayed by LitNutters. What an honor to be in such company!

[Hawkman]

The imagery in this piece is certainly affecting, but the forced stanza breaks, creating unsympathetic enjambment, detract from the poems impact. It would be much better as a single verse peice.

[hallaig]

The imagery in this piece is certainly affecting, but the forced stanza breaks, creating unsympathetic enjambment, detract from the poems impact. It would be much better as a single verse peice.

yon enjambment, is it not just one line following another? Show us some of your most sympathetic enjambment! Dare you!

[hallaig]

the juicing thing by the way. we're both in wet scotland and are separating to soak in the sun for a while in different places in the meditteranean.

[Hawkman]

yon enjambment, is it not just one line following another? Show us some of your most sympathetic enjambment! Dare you!

Check my back catalogue, I'm sure you'll find some. Enjambment is at its best when used where there is strong rhythm or metre and follows on logically from the previous stanza. Just taking a block of text and dividing it up into quatrains is just lazy in a block of free verse.

[hallaig]

I'm sure this disnae apply to your back catalogue, of course, but it would be bad to always try to establish a lame and passionless structure by means of clunking rhythm and forced rhyme.


"Rime being no necessary Adjunct or true Ornament of Poem or good Verse, in longer Works especially, but the Invention of a barbarous Age, to set off wretched matter and lame Meeter"

[Hawkman]

But why deliberately destroy the natural flow of a perfectly good poem by forcing it into unnatural stanza breaks? In free verse, stanza breaks function like paragraph separation in prose. Simply dividing a sentance mid-stream for typographic effect should be left to the discretion typographers!

[Jerrybaldy]

Very enjoyable and could only be more Scottish if it had been produced in a tartan font :)

[everyadventure]

More poetry, please. Please, sir, may I have some more?