I stare iinto those eyes

[the facade]

Haven't posted much lately but here's a poem I hope you guys enjoy.

I stare into those eyes

I stare into those eyes
two hemispheres sparked
by a different genesis.

I stare into those eyes,
the retinas' rafts beckon
to take you downstream
of sparkling waters
where endless treasure
allures on the banks
of the completing hemisphere.

I stare into those eyes,
but the torrent is too strong
and the invitation withdrawn.

And as I stare into your eyes,
I remember we stand in line,
and that torrent of yours
that fills your caged treasures
blocks the view from staring into mine.

[PrinceMyshkin]

How wonderfully, how deftly this turns from a seemingly uncomplicated love poem into a recognition of unrequited love!

[Jack of Hearts]

Have to agree with Socrates, did not see that one coming upon first reading last night.


I stare into those eyes,
but the torrent is too strong
and the invitation withdrawn.

This snippet was particularly striking.




J

[the facade]

Thank you PM and JoH for reading and for the kind words!

[Bar22do]

And as I stare into your eyes,
I remember we stand in line,
and that torrent of yours
that fills your caged treasures
blocks the view from staring into mine.

The end twist and so skillfully achieved! good for you, facade!
Please post more. Bar!

[Haunted]

The transition from good to bad is seamless. Well done!