Swansong

[Jerrybaldy]

Silver scales in peppered hairs,
nicotine pointe shoes,
Pinstripe stroking Cuban,
Lipgloss sucking menthol,
Fishbeard plays the concertina
for his crippled ballerina.

[Buh4Bee]

Personally, I really love this! It's very tender.

[Jack of Hearts]

It's strange. But it resonates pretty good.







J

[everyadventure]

The thing that's interesting about this poem is that the phrases can be read two ways. "Scales"-- fish scales? Musical scales on the concertina? "Cuban"-- referring to a cigar? Or is the man Cuban? It could be all of the above, and it feels right.

Lots of flavor to this one.

[paperleaves]

WOW, very interesting composition, I love the eccentric nature of the images...

[hillwalker]

Twisted and tender - a beautiful combination JB and most definitely an upward step on the ladder to literary recognition.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Thanks all and Hill, If I didnt know you better I would think you were taking the piss.

[hillwalker]

Thanks all and Hill, If I didnt know you better I would think you were taking the piss.

Whatever sh!t is being spun on here about me - in this instance I mean every word.

H :-)

[CellarDoor]

Love the eccentric nature of the imagery in this one, especially the last couplet.

[Buh4Bee]

I'm not a prude, but why do people need to be using such disgusting language on the forum? And this is coming from a sailor's mouth.

[Jack of Hearts]

Male communication jersea. No idea why we do it, but we've been throwing naughty words at each other since we were children to demonstrate comraderie, machismo and irreverence. This reader imagines, if you were to get hill and Jer together at a pub one night the obscenities would flow en masse.

There's probably psychology papers published about this somewhere.





J

[MystyrMystyry]

Like a scene from a David Lynch movie, slowly evolving into a panorama sweep around a bar and backroom, and devolving back again

[Buh4Bee]

What can I say, Jack? I just don't have a dick.