Zephyros

[DieterM]

Summer wind hisses through bowing ears,
a firebird dancing on golden spun hair,
air vibes frizzing in crystalline waves,
blue, up, wide open for the present tense

Heat gusts billow out linen over hot skin
Arms behind the head, I blink and squint,
follow the blinding white spot that flickers
in leaps over the orange eyelid screen

The past tense reaches out from far away,
lisping of a young boy with his first cigarette
hidden in the middle of the same high corn
that leaned over the same dusty street

Eyes closed… both present and past mingle
in the summer wind's tousling,
the flap-flap-sound of my shirt
and the smell of dry asphalt and impending thunder

[Jerrybaldy]

Evocative of that hot wind and I particularly enjoyed the final stanza joining both tenses and I loved your closing line.

[DieterM]

Thanks a lot Jerrybaldy; it's been a long time I've not been posting on here (way too much tedious work to do, *sigh*) so I'm more than glad this unique "shot" got such a warmhearted review!

[winterroom]

I agree about that last stanza - a perfectly polished gem. In fact I feel the second half of the poem is slightly stronger the first half - a vague feeling that the language is more complete and transparent.

In the 3rd stanza, how about moving the word 'hidden' into the following line, 'hidden in the same high corn', leaving the phrase 'young boy' as a simple image with so many associations (especially for those of us who were once young boys).

Hugh

[DieterM]

Hey winterroom, that's a very good idea, one I hadn't thought of, to be honest, and one I thank you very much for. It's often that way - you try to polish and rewrite but the most obvious changes have to brought by someone else. When you have your nose glued to a text, you simply can't read it properly anymore, I guess. I'll edit it at once, it'll even help the flow and rythm, I'm sure.