Ode To McDonalds (satirical)

[(PRK)ONTHERUN]

Ode to McDonalds

Your mascot is a clown,
who never eats any peas.
Your food makes me frown,
with their 20 layers of grease.

I can't wait to get there!
says a little boy,
I'll throw away the hamburger,
and only keep the toy!

Apple dippers in the fryer
such disgusting, revolting food.
Cholesterol higher and higher....
what does America have to lose?


Sorry if this offends anyone but my friend and I created it and I couldn't help posting it here. Please comment and tell me what you think. :)

[hillwalker]

I doubt that anyone would take offense to this.

It's obviously a tongue-in-cheek portrait of McD so there was probably no need to add '(satirical)' to the title - most reaers would get the point.

I liked the second verse best, although it doesn't follow as tight a metrical pattern as the other two verses attempt to.

Also the rhyme in the first verse is a little too forced - choosing 'peas' just because it half-rhymes with 'grease' is rather lazy writing.

But as a fun exercise it works very well.

H

[YesNo]

I had to look up "apple dippers". I see they actually sell such things, but it doesn't look like they fry them.

Rather than being "disgusting" or "revolting", they sound kind of interesting, but I haven't been to a McDonald's in a long time.

[Jerrybaldy]

Interesting to watch the cycle. Here was my attempt in darkest February 2011:


Mc D's

I cannot visit Mc D's
without leaving feeling grimey.
I feel I have just sucked
an unwashed corporate dick.
I disdain the bloated denims,
the single fathers compensating
with large fries and Mcflurry.
I separate myself
from all these pigs in the trough.
I am only here to observe
and to suck the lard
from the bacon double cheese.
It is with regret
that I leave with fatty come stains,
all down my Ronald t shirt. __________________

I have to admit yours was more subtle :)