litebrite
06-10-2011, 03:16 PM
Ok, so I'm going to write a short story about me and my friends, and our journey to get back the magic powers that the evil spirit known as Christopher Walken stole from me. I'm working on the outline, and I'm close to the end, but I need to decide how my friends and I are going to kill Christopher Walken. (Don't ask why he's the villian, it doesn't matter)
I don't want the method for killing him to be too cheesy, like stabbing him with a magic knife, or melting down his cowbell. I also don't want it to be too simple or humanistic, considering that in this story, he's a spirit.
I do, however, want it to be clever, like by outsmarting him in some way. I'll post what I have so far. Don't pay too much attention to the characters, or the geography, considering that it's all just relative to my friends and I. Obviously this is just for fun, and is meant to be humourous. I'm open to any ideas or suggestions that pertain to the victory over the evil spirit known as Christopher Walken.
Long ago, in a far away land, lived a man named Viggo Von Lexington. Viggo was a night watchman for the Kingdom of the Eastern Region of Syracuse, but he wasn’t just any watchman. Viggo had a long goatee, which possessed magical powers. At night, his Goatee shined a bright light. The light was so bright, that when he stood in the tall watchtower in the center of the kingdom, he lit up everything for miles, even beyond the walls of the Kingdom. The light was so bright, that he earned the nickname ‘Lite Brite’. (His nickname also had some association with a toy made by Hasbro, and Viggo’s tendency to dye his hair different colors when he was younger, but that’s a different story.)
One day, an evil spirit, known as Christopher Walken, stole the magical powers from Viggo’s beard and flew away. Viggo traveled across many lands, while gathering his friends to assist him in his journey to recover his magic powers from the evil Christopher Walken.
Chapter 1
Viggo is in the watchtower when Christopher walken steals his powers. The light over the kingdom goes out.
Days go by, crime is up in the kingdom. Wild Dragons, Dark elves and ferocious Jungle squirrels are taking advantage of the darkness.
Viggo urges the king to send his army after the evil Christopher walken, but he says he can’t send any troops away because the streets are being over run at night.
That night, wilsocrates comes to visit viggo and tells him they must go after walken themselves, and on the way, they’ll gather a team to help them.
Chapter 2
They decide they need a navigator, so they head to Kirkvillia to find the man who know’s the lands better than anyone…Tom Tom
They find Tom Tom. At first he rejects their plea, but they offer him beer so he comes along. He asks if his friend Gregarious Gregory can come along. He says he’s good with people, and might be able to convince others to join them.
Tom Tom and Wilsocrates reminisce about a time they traveled home drunk, and woke up in the morning to find a large tree, lodged under their carriage, uprooted from somewhere else.
Greg agrees to come but he asks how they plan to defeat the evil walken, he’s a powerful and magical spirit. They decide they’ll need someone who also knows some magic. They head down the road to find Brandolf.
Chapter 3
They arrive at the dwelling of a large family, where Brandolf sometimes sleeps. While there, a wild dragon attacks some cattle in the field. Brandolf asks his girlfriend, princess Amanda to wrangle the dragon, cuz he’s drunk. They bring her along as well, as the designated dragon wrangler.
Brandolf asks what they’ll do for food on their long journey.
Gregarious Gregory mentions his brother.
Chapter 4
They head back down the road in the direction they came, and come to a small store by Chittenango creek where they find javelin Jeffrey.
Javelin Jeffrey joins them, and suggests that they recruit his other brother, Jackhammer James, the warrior.
Chapter 5
They travel for a day, to the lake of livers. On the way, they fend off jungle squirrels, and wild dragons.
Chapter 6
They arrive at the home of Jackhammer James at the lake of livers. He comes along, and suggests they find a knight, Sir Justen of Sherwood. Tom Tom says the only way to Sherwood shores, is through rattle snake gulch, or by taking Chittenango creek. They decide to take the slightly safer route, the creek, but they need a boatman.
Chapter 7
They head back to kirvillia, to find rowboat ricky. He and his wife becky agree to come along. Rowboat ricky warns them that the creek is dangerous. There are giant bats, fish that jump out of the water and curse at you, and rapid waters. Plus, all he has is a 2 person canoe, so they’ll all have to cram into it. Becky and Princess Amanda say **** this, I’m taking my chances with the rattlesnakes in rattlesnake gulch, I’ll meet you there.
Chapter 8
The men ward off the giant bats, take turns hitting the cursing, jumping fish with jackhammer james’ sledgehammer, and ride out the raging waters.
Becky and Amanda walk through rattlesnake gulch, and discover that there are no rattlesnakes, and that the road is straight and flat. They meet a woman named Cherie, who offers to bring them as far as bridgeporto rico in her carriage. On the way, the 3 of them talk, drink wine, read, and take a nap
Meanwhile, the men are still being slammed aroung by the raging waters, and picked at by giant bats.
Finally, the men make it to bridgeporto rico, where they find becky and Princess Amanda sitting on a log.
Chapter 9
Javelin Jeffrey decides to make a small trip just a few miles west. He says his specialty is hunting cougars, and he knows of a placeust east of the jungles of Ciceronia, where he can find enough cougars to feed the group for days. Coopersland.
Viggo says he has some unfinished business to take care of there, from years ago, so they all head to coopersland.
Viggo leaves the group and says he’ll be back soon
Javelin Jeffrey hunts and kills many cougars, but one cougar is too strong, and smart, so he decides to trick it, into falling into a trap, by using himself as cougar bait. When he’s done, viggo returns. He asks if javelin Jeffrey got enough cougars, jeff says yes, and viggo says ‘good, cuz I lit this place on fire, we better go
They all run away from the smoke and flames, and head towards Sherwood shores
Chapter 10
They arrive at Sherwood Shores, but Sir Justen of Sherwoods wife, Amy, says he’s not well. He needs his medicine, which comes from a plant known as the Kot Plant. The only man in all the land who can grow the Kot Plant is Kotplant Chris, who lives in Kirkvillia. Legend has it, he once packed enough Kot Plant into is pockets to cure an entire Kingdom of boredom. So he earned the name KotPockets.
Becky and Amanda decide to stay with Amy while the men head back to kirkvillia. They suggest going through rattlesnake gulch this time.
Chapter 11
Viggo and his friends travel back to Kirkvillia down rattlesnake gulch, but this time, rattlesnake are everywhere.
They make it to the home of Kotpockets. He agrees to bring Sir Justen of Sherwood his medicine. He also brings enough for everyone else to enjoy.
As the group head back to Sherwood Shores, A giant orange blimp floats overhead. A long ropeladder is lowered down, that says “if you want a ride, I need some blue light, some Kot Plant, and some ice cream.
Chris goes inside and get’s some blue light and ice cream, and they all climb onboard
The pilot is a man named Glab the phantom.
Chapter 12
They arrive again at Sherwood shores. Glab the phantom floats off in his orange blimp, Kotpockets gives Sir Justen his medicine.
Sir Justen is thankful, and joins the league of lunacy in their mission.
Amy says they look tired, and asks if they all want to stay for the night. Viggo says they should really move on, time is of the essence, but she says she has wine, so he agrees to stay.
They feast on cougar meat, drink wine and beer, enjoy the kot plant, then go to sleep
(viggo explains some of the strange powers that his beard has, like the fact that when he says the word archipelago, a giant monkey appears wearing a sombrero and grants one wish to whoever asks for one first.)
Chapter 13
In the morning, Sir Justen urges the women to stay behind. The journey will soon become much more dangerous. They must travel the seas of Oneida Ocean, to the other side, to beachsylvania, where the Evil Christopher walken dwells.
The women agree to stay behind (but secretly follow them)
The men steal a ship from a nearby harbor, and set sail.
Not long after they leave the harbor, another ship comes after them, it’s the owners of the boat they stole. Brandolf puts a spell on them to let them borrow their ship until the journey is over. He also takes all their coupons.
Chapter 14
The ship is pulled into a giant maelstrom. It sucks them down to the bottom of the ocean, and through a series of tunnels, into an underground river.
They are greeted by a society of creatures known as barnacle tendril dwellers, or bartenders for short. They call their home trappers 2. they tell viggo and his friends that Christopher walken has stolen their bottle openers for years. They tell them of a secret passageway to beachsylvania, and that if they return with their stolen goods, they can have free drinks forever. The men ride in a train of carts up through the secret tunnel.
Chapter 15
The tunnel takes them to the top of one of the Canastota mountains, just outside of beachsylvania. They find some snowmobiles and snowboards and head down to the bottom, fighting off some yeti on the way down.
Before they reach the bottom, they see Christopher Walken’s fortress in the distance. They see it’s surrounded by an army of wooden guardians controlled by magic.
Jim finds a big barrel of jet fuel and they roll into the crowd off wooden guardians. Jeff lights an arrow on fire and lauches it towards the barrel. It completely misses. They battle the wooden guardians and defeat them. When they’re done, jeff notices the barrel, and lights it.
Chapter 16
They reach the gate, and try to think of a way in (hey, know what would work on this door? A barrel of jet fuel.
They decide to through the smallest person over the wall (viggo)
Christopher walken’s evil spirit’s capture viggo
Amanda and the girls show up on 3 dragons (oliver, Oniel, Murphy) and reveal that they were following them the whole time. The dragon s bust in the door. They fight off more wooden guardians, evil spirits, robotic spiders, and make their way through the maze-like fortress.
Meanwhile, viggo is tortured by Christopher walken with constant Kesha music, and kept in a dungeon.
Chapter 17
(at this point, this is chapter is completely open to change)
Viggo talks to the other prisoners. They tell him that walken get’s his powers from others, and that if that person dies, he loses their power. All the prisoners are people who had their powers stolen, one person gave him the power of being an immortal spirit, and one had the power to bring people back to life.
I don't want the method for killing him to be too cheesy, like stabbing him with a magic knife, or melting down his cowbell. I also don't want it to be too simple or humanistic, considering that in this story, he's a spirit.
I do, however, want it to be clever, like by outsmarting him in some way. I'll post what I have so far. Don't pay too much attention to the characters, or the geography, considering that it's all just relative to my friends and I. Obviously this is just for fun, and is meant to be humourous. I'm open to any ideas or suggestions that pertain to the victory over the evil spirit known as Christopher Walken.
Long ago, in a far away land, lived a man named Viggo Von Lexington. Viggo was a night watchman for the Kingdom of the Eastern Region of Syracuse, but he wasn’t just any watchman. Viggo had a long goatee, which possessed magical powers. At night, his Goatee shined a bright light. The light was so bright, that when he stood in the tall watchtower in the center of the kingdom, he lit up everything for miles, even beyond the walls of the Kingdom. The light was so bright, that he earned the nickname ‘Lite Brite’. (His nickname also had some association with a toy made by Hasbro, and Viggo’s tendency to dye his hair different colors when he was younger, but that’s a different story.)
One day, an evil spirit, known as Christopher Walken, stole the magical powers from Viggo’s beard and flew away. Viggo traveled across many lands, while gathering his friends to assist him in his journey to recover his magic powers from the evil Christopher Walken.
Chapter 1
Viggo is in the watchtower when Christopher walken steals his powers. The light over the kingdom goes out.
Days go by, crime is up in the kingdom. Wild Dragons, Dark elves and ferocious Jungle squirrels are taking advantage of the darkness.
Viggo urges the king to send his army after the evil Christopher walken, but he says he can’t send any troops away because the streets are being over run at night.
That night, wilsocrates comes to visit viggo and tells him they must go after walken themselves, and on the way, they’ll gather a team to help them.
Chapter 2
They decide they need a navigator, so they head to Kirkvillia to find the man who know’s the lands better than anyone…Tom Tom
They find Tom Tom. At first he rejects their plea, but they offer him beer so he comes along. He asks if his friend Gregarious Gregory can come along. He says he’s good with people, and might be able to convince others to join them.
Tom Tom and Wilsocrates reminisce about a time they traveled home drunk, and woke up in the morning to find a large tree, lodged under their carriage, uprooted from somewhere else.
Greg agrees to come but he asks how they plan to defeat the evil walken, he’s a powerful and magical spirit. They decide they’ll need someone who also knows some magic. They head down the road to find Brandolf.
Chapter 3
They arrive at the dwelling of a large family, where Brandolf sometimes sleeps. While there, a wild dragon attacks some cattle in the field. Brandolf asks his girlfriend, princess Amanda to wrangle the dragon, cuz he’s drunk. They bring her along as well, as the designated dragon wrangler.
Brandolf asks what they’ll do for food on their long journey.
Gregarious Gregory mentions his brother.
Chapter 4
They head back down the road in the direction they came, and come to a small store by Chittenango creek where they find javelin Jeffrey.
Javelin Jeffrey joins them, and suggests that they recruit his other brother, Jackhammer James, the warrior.
Chapter 5
They travel for a day, to the lake of livers. On the way, they fend off jungle squirrels, and wild dragons.
Chapter 6
They arrive at the home of Jackhammer James at the lake of livers. He comes along, and suggests they find a knight, Sir Justen of Sherwood. Tom Tom says the only way to Sherwood shores, is through rattle snake gulch, or by taking Chittenango creek. They decide to take the slightly safer route, the creek, but they need a boatman.
Chapter 7
They head back to kirvillia, to find rowboat ricky. He and his wife becky agree to come along. Rowboat ricky warns them that the creek is dangerous. There are giant bats, fish that jump out of the water and curse at you, and rapid waters. Plus, all he has is a 2 person canoe, so they’ll all have to cram into it. Becky and Princess Amanda say **** this, I’m taking my chances with the rattlesnakes in rattlesnake gulch, I’ll meet you there.
Chapter 8
The men ward off the giant bats, take turns hitting the cursing, jumping fish with jackhammer james’ sledgehammer, and ride out the raging waters.
Becky and Amanda walk through rattlesnake gulch, and discover that there are no rattlesnakes, and that the road is straight and flat. They meet a woman named Cherie, who offers to bring them as far as bridgeporto rico in her carriage. On the way, the 3 of them talk, drink wine, read, and take a nap
Meanwhile, the men are still being slammed aroung by the raging waters, and picked at by giant bats.
Finally, the men make it to bridgeporto rico, where they find becky and Princess Amanda sitting on a log.
Chapter 9
Javelin Jeffrey decides to make a small trip just a few miles west. He says his specialty is hunting cougars, and he knows of a placeust east of the jungles of Ciceronia, where he can find enough cougars to feed the group for days. Coopersland.
Viggo says he has some unfinished business to take care of there, from years ago, so they all head to coopersland.
Viggo leaves the group and says he’ll be back soon
Javelin Jeffrey hunts and kills many cougars, but one cougar is too strong, and smart, so he decides to trick it, into falling into a trap, by using himself as cougar bait. When he’s done, viggo returns. He asks if javelin Jeffrey got enough cougars, jeff says yes, and viggo says ‘good, cuz I lit this place on fire, we better go
They all run away from the smoke and flames, and head towards Sherwood shores
Chapter 10
They arrive at Sherwood Shores, but Sir Justen of Sherwoods wife, Amy, says he’s not well. He needs his medicine, which comes from a plant known as the Kot Plant. The only man in all the land who can grow the Kot Plant is Kotplant Chris, who lives in Kirkvillia. Legend has it, he once packed enough Kot Plant into is pockets to cure an entire Kingdom of boredom. So he earned the name KotPockets.
Becky and Amanda decide to stay with Amy while the men head back to kirkvillia. They suggest going through rattlesnake gulch this time.
Chapter 11
Viggo and his friends travel back to Kirkvillia down rattlesnake gulch, but this time, rattlesnake are everywhere.
They make it to the home of Kotpockets. He agrees to bring Sir Justen of Sherwood his medicine. He also brings enough for everyone else to enjoy.
As the group head back to Sherwood Shores, A giant orange blimp floats overhead. A long ropeladder is lowered down, that says “if you want a ride, I need some blue light, some Kot Plant, and some ice cream.
Chris goes inside and get’s some blue light and ice cream, and they all climb onboard
The pilot is a man named Glab the phantom.
Chapter 12
They arrive again at Sherwood shores. Glab the phantom floats off in his orange blimp, Kotpockets gives Sir Justen his medicine.
Sir Justen is thankful, and joins the league of lunacy in their mission.
Amy says they look tired, and asks if they all want to stay for the night. Viggo says they should really move on, time is of the essence, but she says she has wine, so he agrees to stay.
They feast on cougar meat, drink wine and beer, enjoy the kot plant, then go to sleep
(viggo explains some of the strange powers that his beard has, like the fact that when he says the word archipelago, a giant monkey appears wearing a sombrero and grants one wish to whoever asks for one first.)
Chapter 13
In the morning, Sir Justen urges the women to stay behind. The journey will soon become much more dangerous. They must travel the seas of Oneida Ocean, to the other side, to beachsylvania, where the Evil Christopher walken dwells.
The women agree to stay behind (but secretly follow them)
The men steal a ship from a nearby harbor, and set sail.
Not long after they leave the harbor, another ship comes after them, it’s the owners of the boat they stole. Brandolf puts a spell on them to let them borrow their ship until the journey is over. He also takes all their coupons.
Chapter 14
The ship is pulled into a giant maelstrom. It sucks them down to the bottom of the ocean, and through a series of tunnels, into an underground river.
They are greeted by a society of creatures known as barnacle tendril dwellers, or bartenders for short. They call their home trappers 2. they tell viggo and his friends that Christopher walken has stolen their bottle openers for years. They tell them of a secret passageway to beachsylvania, and that if they return with their stolen goods, they can have free drinks forever. The men ride in a train of carts up through the secret tunnel.
Chapter 15
The tunnel takes them to the top of one of the Canastota mountains, just outside of beachsylvania. They find some snowmobiles and snowboards and head down to the bottom, fighting off some yeti on the way down.
Before they reach the bottom, they see Christopher Walken’s fortress in the distance. They see it’s surrounded by an army of wooden guardians controlled by magic.
Jim finds a big barrel of jet fuel and they roll into the crowd off wooden guardians. Jeff lights an arrow on fire and lauches it towards the barrel. It completely misses. They battle the wooden guardians and defeat them. When they’re done, jeff notices the barrel, and lights it.
Chapter 16
They reach the gate, and try to think of a way in (hey, know what would work on this door? A barrel of jet fuel.
They decide to through the smallest person over the wall (viggo)
Christopher walken’s evil spirit’s capture viggo
Amanda and the girls show up on 3 dragons (oliver, Oniel, Murphy) and reveal that they were following them the whole time. The dragon s bust in the door. They fight off more wooden guardians, evil spirits, robotic spiders, and make their way through the maze-like fortress.
Meanwhile, viggo is tortured by Christopher walken with constant Kesha music, and kept in a dungeon.
Chapter 17
(at this point, this is chapter is completely open to change)
Viggo talks to the other prisoners. They tell him that walken get’s his powers from others, and that if that person dies, he loses their power. All the prisoners are people who had their powers stolen, one person gave him the power of being an immortal spirit, and one had the power to bring people back to life.