My Retreat

[Dark Muse]

My Retreat

Why should I
slit my wrists for you?
Do you imagine
I sit here bleeding
on the bathroom floor?

But I know
you always
needed to play
the hero,

perhaps you get
a thrill
at the thought
of having to rush
in and save me.

But from who?
Is it me
or is it you
that needs to be saved
that needs saving from?

It never occurred
to you
that I would not
indulge you.

No longer
do I play
noose games
tittering
just upon the edge
holding my breath
waiting to be pulled
back.

Did it never
occur to you
that I would be
counting bullets
just for you?

Watching you
while you sleep
should we play
Russian Roulette?

But even that
is a kind of suicide
and perhaps
it would give you
a sense of certain
pleasure.

To save you
forever
from your nightmares
which I have tired
to harbor.

So I won't
throw myself
at your feet
I am prepared
to walk away
leaving you
alone in your
self-made darkness.

Because
I have exhausted
myself
penitently waiting
in picturesque
patience,

and I am through
enduring your
absentee love.

[MystyrMystyry]

Interesting - unusual subject matter for The Dark Muse if I'm not mistaken - narrator as semi-suicidal victim awakening from delusional love?

I like!

The unexpected subject notwithstanding there is some excellent imagery in this

Because
I have exhausted
myself
penitently waiting
in picturesque
patience

Classic Dark Muse!

[Dark Muse]

Thank you! And it is meant to be more of a rebelling against the that they should allow themselves to fall into a suicidal state over broken love. Instead of giving into the despair the narrator makes the choice to simply walk out the door. And they do have momentary contemplations of killing the other person instead.

[MystyrMystyry]

I see that clearly on second reading

I was perhaps too quick to post - normally I like to read a poem a few times but I was overtaken with enthusiasm and awe at your scope and magnitude - it's always something new and different from you, Dark One