PDA

View Full Version : Walk in the Shadows


Pendragon
06-09-2011, 08:10 AM
Walk in the Shadows

There can be no day unless there’s a night—
There can be no shadows unless there’s a light—
I look in my mirror and just can’t understand
Why every day I walk in the shadows again…

It always seems like the dark of the moon
Like a solar eclipse just at high noon
The shadows grow deeper and they claw at my heart
It’s but one more day of falling apart…

Cries for help go always unheeded
Just a shoulder to cry on was all that I needed—
Do people not care, or do they not think they can—
Every hour, every minute I walk in the shadows again…

The minutes drag like hours, a circle unending
Dawn means only that I’ve returned to the beginning
People don’t understand and sometimes they don’t even try
The voice from the shadows one more unheard cry…

There can be no day unless there’s a night—
There can be no shadows unless there’s a light—
Life is one vicious circle that never seems to end—
Tonight and forever, I walk in the shadows again…

Pendragon
© Thursday, June 09, 2011
everyadventure
06-09-2011, 10:55 AM
"Dawn means only that I’ve returned to the beginning." That line summed the poem up perfectly. I found this extraordinarily relatable.

(Feel free to PM me... I'll listen, I promise :) )
hillwalker
06-09-2011, 01:28 PM
A gripping portrait of depression. You do a fine job of suggesting its cyclical nature - each fresh day a new shadow falling.

I'd almost suggest pinning the opening 2 lines at the end as well to convey the endless circle.

H
Pendragon
06-09-2011, 10:28 PM
A gripping portrait of depression. You do a fine job of suggesting its cyclical nature - each fresh day a new shadow falling.

I'd almost suggest pinning the opening 2 lines at the end as well to convey the endless circle.

H

I really like that suggestion, consider it done. I think it does bring a full circle and finality to the poem. Thanks, H
AuntShecky
06-11-2011, 02:27 PM
I was going to commend the "circular" pattern in this piece, but I see that previous commentators have beaten me to it.


This one is like lyrics to a "ballad," not in the classical sense of the term but in the sense of popular music. Also, the structure of this one, with its repeated lines, remind me a little of the villanelle, which, I seem to recall, you said was your favorite form.

(Also, I'm sure I'm speaking for many of my fellow LitNutters when I say that I hope that your life has turned a brighter corner, Pen. We're all pulling for you.)

Auntie